
I guess I'll go first with this one.
The thing that stands out the most for me about MIL with alzheimers.......
Everything is ALL ABOUT HER. I could cut my arm off and be bleeding on the floor right beside her and she would worry about who was going to bring her a cookie.
I am treated as" a nothing" in her world.
Then I feel guilty for thinking she's an old battleaxe.
Well that's my confession.
How about yours?
You have endured a mostly negative situation with your Mom for a long time.
Here is understanding for what you are going through. Burnout is a serious thing.
You have a very good brain, are intelligent and insightful. You have experiences to share that are valuable, that will help someone.
One can turn their thinking to positive, to achieve a balance in their lives. However, please never go so far to the positive outlook that I will have to send you a bucket of sand to stick your head in, so that reality can be denied to exist.
Additionally, I have known you to become lighter, more positive over the past year, with a good sense of humor. There is a life ahead of you with all sorts of positives going to happen for you, and that will be your experience-life changing experiences. I am sure.
I am positive!
Youve done the right thing, It will improve, I promise!
You Take Care!
Yes, we really don't know how bumpy this roller coaster ride will be until we are on it! We just stay on & cope, doing the best we can. I remember saying, "I won't do that," in regards to yukky jobs, well guess what, been there/done that. Instincts take over & it gets done.
It sounds like some of you amazing pals who caregive ? your decisions, wondering the what ifs of it all. I hear some guilt & you shouldn't be so hard on you. It's because you care & have an abundance of empathy & love that you ?, you probably always will. It's not a negative if you had to make a decision. Remember you're a caregiver, you've been making good & right ones & probably for a long time.
Try & make time for you, somehow/someway. You have to take care of you. I know it's a challenge to find the right day program or person to give you a break, but make it a priority.
Blessings 🌸
I'm 55 but feel like a child losing my mom bits at a time and I can't stop it.😭
This afternoon or an hour or two, who knows, I'll be irritated cause she's wanting something from me again. Maybe that's what bothers me the most...the constant back n forth of emotions!!! 😖🙄😬😜
I have to agree. There are times when my emotions are all over the place.
Caregiving is not easy, no matter our love & devotion. Blessings 🌸
It is a totally different game taking care of any adult versus a baby. Put in health concerns & that's why it's called a "roller coaster ride," "new normal," whatever. Everyone's emotions & feelings are tested. Everybody is stressed & sleep deprived. We all question just about everything we do & feel. But, you're right, we do the best we can, we are only human.
We got this Caregivers! Blessings 🌸
What the Heck? He is now bringing other peoples crap in my house?
What bothers me the most has to be that it will not be over until my hubby dies, and that's not the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow I'm looking for. It's tough never getting away, even when I'm away, and it's tough watching my love slowly, relentlessly, decline. Our only hope is to find the humor in the journey.
I wanted to be the caring and dutiful daughter but it was hard. There was no acknowledgement and validation and no offer of help from siblings. And now that my dad has passed, dealing with the grief has been a thousand times worse. If I could go back, I wish I would have talked more with my dad. I regret my frustrations and lost of patience. I failed to realize the end of the caring journey would be worst than the journey itself. I have no peace yet.
We are 😴 tired. Emotions go up & down. I believe it's only natural to look back & nitpick, to dwell on just about everything. Please try & remember all you did for your dad, alone. Think about all the tasks you were doing for him & if there was a free moment, there was still you; you had to eat, shower, rest. Recharge yourself for the next go round.
You are grieving & what you are feeling is part of the process. Now start taking time to recuperate yourself, body & mind. Write in a journal, take a meditation or yoga class. Seek a professional to just talk it out. Use prayers & faith.
There are all kinds of grief for us caregivers during & after. Take time, baby steps. You were, are, a loving daughter.
Blessings 🌸
Thank you for your kind replies. Blessing4Ever, thank you for your compassion and understanding. I hear that a lot. I do try to think about the years I was helping before my dad's stroke, but things escalated from there. I know none of us are perfect. Grief has been like a wave and I am having one of those days, where I can't help but berate myself for my failings. I wish I could embrace change and this idea that nothing can ever be permanent. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and for your comforting words. It means a lot.
Thank you for telling me more. I know you are doing the best for your mom. It sure isn't easy to see our once independent parents get to this stage of life. And its not easy being the adult child taking on this daily care.
Thank you so much for your understanding and kind words. They are much appreciated. Its just one of those days, where I look around the house and wish my dad was still sitting there watching TV, but he's not.