
I guess I'll go first with this one.
The thing that stands out the most for me about MIL with alzheimers.......
Everything is ALL ABOUT HER. I could cut my arm off and be bleeding on the floor right beside her and she would worry about who was going to bring her a cookie.
I am treated as" a nothing" in her world.
Then I feel guilty for thinking she's an old battleaxe.
Well that's my confession.
How about yours?
I can't fill in for all the people that she has pushed away. When I try to keep her company she always pushes me away by arguing and say mean things. It's not the dementia. She and Dad were hermits their entire married life. Sure gets boring and lonely here. The only sound is the TV.
Mom does "go anywhere" either except to the grocery or drug store and then she really gets decked out to go to the beauty parlor once a week. 😉
LOL!!!!!!!! Thanks, I needed that! Yes you are right about beating the alternative but I have a story that will return the favor, crack you up and give you an idea of just how nuts Mom is about her appearance. I will try to condense this as much as I can. Mom wandered out one morning (this was prior to any dementia) with her watering can to water the tomatoes on the side of the house. We had a rusty piece of steel sticking up from the ground where our childhood playhouse used to be. She tripped over it and cut a huge L shaped gash in her thigh, guts were showing and coming out! I ran upstairs at full speed to get a towel to wrap around it and said, "We gotta get to the ER right now!" She was still in her robe since it was still morning, her reply to me was, "I am not going anywhere until I put my make up on and get dressed!" I nearly fainted! I helped her up, she was dropping tendons out of her leg and she got up those stairs and proceeded with her beauty regimen. Gotta love that vanity!
Just picked her up and she looks like a little school girl. She hasn't changed her hairstyle since she was in her 40's and she still dyes it red "Loreal #7LA. She is one of those who's vanity comes before anything, even bordering on ridiculousness.
We are on the same page on this one as well. I love Halloween, have the coolest decorations, same with Christmas. I will write you more details about all that to you but yes, we are twins again. LOL!
I can't imagine how many more on this site feel the exact same way, it really does help keep your sanity!
Thankful to wake up every morning and read here...it gives me strength and new wisdom for the day.
No way, you worked in a psyche ward????? Oh jeeeez, I don't want to imagine that. I bet you have got a lot of interesting stories!
When it comes to the vehicle itself after your mom's passing, again, check with the licensing bureau - ours (in MI) told me that with vehicles, whoever has the death certificate can come in and transfer ownership to themselves. Understand, however, that only takes care of the registration/tags for the vehicle - any outstanding loan on the vehicle must be dealt with as well, with whatever finance agency did that.
Also - if Mom is on Medicaid or will possibly be in the future, not signing the vehicles over to you is a GOOD thing, as Medicaid would consider that divestment of assets and it may affect her ability to qualify for Medicaid without a spend down. It's best if the vehicles are left in her name until she passes, and then transferred by the method described above.
I can see the picture better now. Yeah, I can see that being a long stressful situation for her. Lots of annoyances. I think her perspective will change when she gets a bit older and can put things in proper context. I gotta tell ya, I don't know anyone (except one friend) who did not have some sort of dysfunctional childhood. It is the new norm, if you had an idealistic childhood, you are the rare coin in the pile. We all have our stories of crazy. My husbands mother always had some "other family member" living with them that had mental issues that she was taking care of. He turned out fine. He isn't scarred for life. Was what she did right? She did what she thought was right. Unfortunately, that put the he and his sister "second" always. Me, I could write a novel on the dysfunction I grew up with, no joke. I managed to make it even though I have my days where I feel like I am gonna crack. I am not in the ward yet. LOL!!!!!