My mother in law has been living on $1500 month for the last 12 years, prior to that the income was a bit higher because her husband (veteran) was alive. They never knew about VA pension so never applied for it. She is starting to need care at home, we have been spending money we don't really have on fixing her house up so she can remain in there as long as possible. She complains about the cost of her pills, hearing aids, teeth etc. etc. and I understand why. I have looked at what was out there for assistance and came across VA assistance. I reviewed her income with her and found out that a portion of the $1500 monthly income is interest on money that she has in the bank. When her father died she inherited his property and sold it ... she has in excess of $80,000. My suggestion was to start using that money for the home care she needs. The way I see it, the government is going to get it anyways. Then she would qualify for Medicaid later I believe. She won't though, it is like a psychological security blanket for her. Is there a place where she could put those funds so that they are still available to her but they are not deemed an asset? That way she maintains her security (in her mind), she gets the care she needs and she gets to leave something to her kids (her goal). With the look back period I don't like the idea of her giving it to her kids now because if she ends up needing a nursing home I know which kid will end up paying for her care until she would qualify. If she doesn't get help ie VA, I know she won't dip into her savings, then we are going to feel negligent if we don't help her but, we don't really have the means either. It may sound like we are trying to take advantage of a program but we are just trying to find a solution to her care that would sit well with her and that wouldn't involve our bank account. thanks
I think you should use a little of that money to consult an attorney who specializes in Elder Law. He or she can come up with ways to set things up that will be psychologically satisfying to her, will position her most favorably in case she ever does need to apply for Medicaid, and make sure she can pay for her own needs for as long as possible.
If her health holds up, $80,000 is a nice cushion for things like hearing aids and glasses and fixing up the house. If she needs a care center, $80,000 is a drop in the bucket and she will need Medicaid.
Once upon a time $80,000 was a nice legacy to pass on to one's children. Alas. People live longer now and often develop expensive conditions and diseases. This is very, very sad for folks like your mother who have been living modestly thinking they were saving money to pass on to their children. The likelihood of all the savings (or any of it) being available to pass on is small. Sad.
But sad or not, it doesn't make sense for you to be paying for your mother's expenses so that she can save her assets to give them to you in a will. I don't know if there are siblings involved, but all of you need to stop enabling your mother in her unrealistic expectations.
See an Elder Law attorney.
It's harsh, and easier said than done, but you can refuse to ante up any of your own money for these things.