About a month and a half ago I was looking to move and find a job. I found a job out of state as a live in helper. Taking a gentleman to appointments, helping with housekeeping, etc. I spoke to his former coworkers and his daughter before I moved (moved from Mass to Texas). There was the understanding that this would be temporary, that I would still be able to have a life outside of the home; get a part time job, save money, basically start my life over at 54. However, once I got here I realized this man needs way more care. He is a major fall risk so cannot be left alone, has early stages of dementia and a slew of other health issues. His daughter S has asked that I keep doing this until May when she retires. he has two toher children who both live out of state and two sisters who live about 3 hrs away. His daughter S, says she will come in once a week for a few hours so I can get out. She also states that she is going to try to get him involved in the senior center but again she can't do anything until she retires in May. He actually needs assisted living but trying to get him to go, as it would be self pay as he doesn't qualify for medicaid, will be very difficult. Asking them to have someone else come in for say a 3-10 shift everyday would also be like pulling teeth, he won't want to pay for it. I am ready to walk away. I didn't sign up for this. Would it be wrong for me to leave?
You did good.
I feel that the Lord has already arranged for your welfare, and He will make
it come true for you.
You are a blessing to others.
Thanks for the update. Praying that you get a good job and a place to stay.
Or she hires 2 more people so you only work 8 hours a day.
What I’m seeing is that you’ve been lied to, manipulated and misled from the get-go. Of course you’re upset! You have a right to be. And if you stay there, this will continue. Your employer is one of those who get what they want by lying, manipulating and misleading. When confronted, they are outraged and you’re supposed to fall in line and excuse them because they never admit or even understand that it’s how they do life. They see nothing wrong with their behavior and think everyone does this.
If you like the job and can reconcile yourself to dealing with her on this basis, offer to help register the man for the senior center so she won’t have to. Tell her firmly that you need a second caregiver to work one day a week while you go out, and you help find one because this woman isn’t ever going to follow through and keep her promise that she’d show up to give you time off. It may be that rather than lose you, she’ll let you help find a second caregiver— but again, you must be firm and you tell HER that’s the way it needs to be, not her tell YOU that she won’t.
If you can’t be happy there with this woman who will never change her method of dealing with you, find another job. There are plenty of places where you’ll be appreciated rather than treated like a care slave. I hope you find such a place!
I would tell them that you need at least 8 hours off each day or you will leave. This is not unreasonable as you should have at least 12 to get proper rest and take care of yourself but it gives them the option of paying for that 3-10 shift you mentioned. I am in Texas and there are many options here if you only look for them.
If you do leave, nearly every facility in the state is looking for help.
One other suggestion, if you do stay, I recommend taking this time to obtain a certification like CNA to ensure you will be able to find something else quickly.
If you went to literally any other type of job where the actual job didn't match the description that was given, would you stay then?
Do you currently have the means to find another place to live if you leave this job? If so, then you have every right to tell the daughter this is more than you signed up for, and she'll have to find someone else. Give an end date.
The longer you stay, the harder it will be to extricate yourself.
Sorry this didn't work out, but as you will know at 54, so often that's the case in life. Step at a time. Open discussion now with the family member in charge. Let them know you will be leaving. I would not waste a lot of time with "This wasn't the job represented" etc. That just leads to argument. Simply tell them you are giving notice for your own personal reasons and will give them a good long notice and hope for a good reference in return.