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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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it is simply too complicated and incomplete to type out all about my circumstances and my mom’s in order to feel like wholistic advice can be extended to me
If the information in/on your profile is correct and your mom is in her 50's this can be a very difficult road for you. The first thing is do you have all the legal papers in order that you can make decisions for her? Can you make medical and financial decisions for her? Get you both to an Elder Care Attorney and get that out of the way. If she refuses or the Lawyer does not think she is competent enough to appoint you as POA then you may have to obtain Guardianship. (not ideal but might be necessary. Or she can be appointed a Guardian by the court and she will be made a Ward of the State) The second thing to do that is important is get a correct diagnosis and get it in writing. Next is to look for resources that can help. If she is as young as you indicate you may have to go to Social Security and find out getting her on Social Security Disability. And you will want to be her Representative Payee. With dementia she should not be in control of her assets. Early Onset Dementia is any dementia diagnosed under the age of 65. My Husband technically fell in the Early Onset group and he "lived" 12 years after the diagnosis. It was difficult. And I have the advantage of having a house that was built handicap accessible. I would suggest that if she is diagnosed with dementia you have her assessed for Hospice and as soon as she qualifies get her on Hospice they will help with all supplies, equipment and mental, emotional support.
Tennischamp77, for more information on dementia/Alzheimer's go to the green/blue bar at the top of this page..... click on CARE TOPICS.... go to the Letter A and click on Alzheimer's/Dementia. You will find a wealth of information that I hope will be valuable for you to use.
Any time you run into a single circumstance, please post it on the forum. There are many writers here who have dealt with all types of different issues. They would be more than happy to give their suggestions :)
Grandma has given you excellent advice, but knowing your mom's actual age would be helpful.
Remember that your life, mental and physical health and financial outlook matter too.
Caregiving only works if it works for both parties. Can you afford to become mom's caregiver and not be gainfully employed?
At the outset of my mom's journey into declining cognition, I had a mortgage, an unemployed husband and a career I loved. There was simply no way I could impoverish myself to "do" for my mom.
Don't let an emergency situation, one where you swoop in to save the day, morph into a longterm slog that ends with you broke, homeless, unemployed and unemployable.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The first thing is do you have all the legal papers in order that you can make decisions for her? Can you make medical and financial decisions for her? Get you both to an Elder Care Attorney and get that out of the way. If she refuses or the Lawyer does not think she is competent enough to appoint you as POA then you may have to obtain Guardianship. (not ideal but might be necessary. Or she can be appointed a Guardian by the court and she will be made a Ward of the State)
The second thing to do that is important is get a correct diagnosis and get it in writing.
Next is to look for resources that can help.
If she is as young as you indicate you may have to go to Social Security and find out getting her on Social Security Disability. And you will want to be her Representative Payee. With dementia she should not be in control of her assets.
Early Onset Dementia is any dementia diagnosed under the age of 65. My Husband technically fell in the Early Onset group and he "lived" 12 years after the diagnosis. It was difficult. And I have the advantage of having a house that was built handicap accessible.
I would suggest that if she is diagnosed with dementia you have her assessed for Hospice and as soon as she qualifies get her on Hospice they will help with all supplies, equipment and mental, emotional support.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-mom-has-been-sleeping-past-noon-is-eating-okay-not-great-and-is-abnormally-lethargic-how-to-manag-478902.htm
Any time you run into a single circumstance, please post it on the forum. There are many writers here who have dealt with all types of different issues. They would be more than happy to give their suggestions :)
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-should-i-do-about-my-mildly-dementia-mother-who-has-slowed-down-eating-expresses-tiredness-and--478874.htm?orderby=recent
So, have you gotten your mom checked out for UTI, stroke or any of the other conditions that were suggested?
A change in mental status in an elder should not be ignored and it should not be chalked up to weather.
Grandma has given you excellent advice, but knowing your mom's actual age would be helpful.
Remember that your life, mental and physical health and financial outlook matter too.
Caregiving only works if it works for both parties. Can you afford to become mom's caregiver and not be gainfully employed?
At the outset of my mom's journey into declining cognition, I had a mortgage, an unemployed husband and a career I loved. There was simply no way I could impoverish myself to "do" for my mom.
Don't let an emergency situation, one where you swoop in to save the day, morph into a longterm slog that ends with you broke, homeless, unemployed and unemployable.