My Dad passed away last September. To make a long story short I was his caregiver for 8 years and my Mom's for about 12. One of my sisters who'll I just call Bossy the Cow was visiting us before he died and I went no contact because of the nasty stuff she kept saying after he died. Now 7 months later I get an intimidating letter rehashing old wounds and questioning the care my Mom got when she was alive. She's going on about how we put mom in the nursing home in 2009 and made rather libelous comments about my Dad and I regarding her care. She hasn't been in our lives for over 45 years and a couple of years ago she actually had the nerve to call the cops on me because my Dad blocked her on FB and blamed me. The cops came and interviewed us both and said that they won't be coming back because they can see I was taking good care of him. They told her she wasn't welcome here yet in 2024 she just showed up at our door, I let her him because my Dad was on hospice. My Dad had aa will and left everything to me and she knew that she that when she visited. No mention then of wanted any money. Now, because I won't talk to her she is demanding $50,000 which she considers her part of my Mom's wrongful death suit. My dad was the sole receiver of any fund and put in out joint bank account that we shared and said it was mine since I took care of Mom. When he died everything went to me so hasn't a leg to stand on but it her blackmailing and intimidation that bothers. I did call the police non emergency number to report I was being exhorted for $50,000 from a family member and they were going to send a PO over. I'm also seriously considering filing a civil suit against her for harassment and libel. People might disagree but she has to learn that she can't run other's lives. I took care of them with no help from any family members. My Dad saw that and made sure I was taken care after died.
She just makes me remember why I don't talk to family.
Not talking to her does not mean that she can demand money from you. Ignore her. Block her. Use some of your inherited windfall to buy a ticket to Hawaii, where you can cool off in the surf. She can't run your life if you don't let her.
Be happy that your dad rewarded you; he did the right thing. So did you. Peace.
I was a little angry when I posted that. I will take your advice.
45 years, there is a reason no one spoke to her in 45yrs. Keep the letter just in case but like said, block her in every way possible. If she comes to your home and causes problems, call the police. I would say, too, some mental illness here.
Yes, its up to her to sue and sounds like she does not have the money. You don't need toxic people in your life. They are never satisfied. Now its the money, tomorrow something else. If you have kids, warn them not to talk to her.
Never missed either.
There is also a little jealousy with her. Before she did what she did in the 1981 she was my Mom's favorite. When my mom was in the NH in 2012 she actually demanded that we take Mom out of the NH and move her to California so HER family could get to know her. My Dad just laughed at her.
I on the other hand stuck around and made sure I was there if they needed the help. And yes, it was by choice but there was no one else around to take care of them.
My sister is a bully.
Have you bought that ticket to Hawaii yet?
I've been thinking about writing a book about my family.
I was just looking at Hawaii. And the Florida Keys.
Thanks so much for your help.