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It started out me trying to be a good person (I thought that other people she claimed to had helped had destroyed the house & she was just overwhelmed & could ot do it alone! I found out much later they have always lived in filth!)& then she told me she would get help paying me if I would stay on, I thought GREAT! This would help both of us out. That's not what has gone on at all. I've helped , worked my rear end off ! Cleaned up her & sons filth not to mention she lets her 3 dogs"potty" in the house & they don't clean up anything.She has lied to me about applying for help to pay me. I am in the worst situation I have ever been in. They have $ to "BLOW" , while I don't even have $ for essentials! I can't even get outta the situation because I have nobody (no living family or friends who can afford it!)to help me & I have no $. If I could get some suggestions of who I can contact for help, I would deeply appreciate.

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Argo1963, welcome to the forum. I am somewhat confused and need more information. Is this elderly woman doing house cleaning as you wrote "other people she claimed to had helped"? Or is the elderly woman you are helping the one who's house is a mess and you are trying to help her clean up her own house?
Where are you currently living? Were you employed prior to helping out this woman? So many unanswered questions.


If you have no where to live, may I suggest you check with the County to see where is the closest woman's shelter. From there the shelter can help guide you. Hope everything works out for the best.
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Reply to freqflyer
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There is nobody that is going to pay you. It sounds like you are living with this lady for a place to stay. If you want to improve your life you need to leave. If you have nowhere to go, you need to seek out a shelter and try to get help from social services.
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Reply to mstrbill
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You’re not getting any money from this person. I’m sorry you’ve been taken advantage of, it wasn’t right but it won’t change. Time to move on. Please contact the social services agencies in your area for assistance in finding what help may be available for you
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Hi! I’m afraid that you need to be a bit more business-like. Being ‘nice’ and expecting others to be ‘nice’ makes you very vulnerable. Being business-like doesn’t mean being horrible, it just means setting out agreed terms for who does what, sticking to them, and expecting the same in return. Promptly.

Stop thinking “I have nobody to help me” and look at your own strengths. What work can you do? Can you live at a shelter while you work and save some money? Can you sign on with a care company, even if you do ‘live-in’ work for a while? The best ‘help’ might be someone to work with you on a plan that you do yourself. Good luck, and best wishes!
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cover9339 Dec 11, 2024
Shelter can (and sadly does) have its own share of problems. Unless access to a locker that can be locked, OP would need to take personal belongings every time leave the shelter unless run the risk of being stolen from. This is one reason many people would rather take their chances on the street then in a shelter.
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To be Blunt, You stop helping. You will not get paid if you haven't yet. Do you have a contract or is this spoken promises? And, why haven't you stopped yet?
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Reply to AMZebbC
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Maybe tell them that if they don't pay you what's owed immediately then you report their living conditions to APS or the county Dept of Health (and also Animal Control) which will then involve "authorities" and they have to power to force them to change how and where they live.

Of course this is a "massaged" version of a possible outcome but if there's no written contract you have no legal power in this situation. This "threat" is meant as a motivator for payment.

You will need to apply for aid from the county: section 8 housing, food stamps, financial aid, etc.

You must get out of there, no matter what. Stop being their slave. It is a toxic situation so start calling churches or shelters for temporary housing and apply for jobs with caregiving agencies housecleaning companies since you have "companion aid" experience. My son's GF is now cleaning houses independently because there's a big need and not enough reliable people. You can find clients on Nextdoor.com, or consider Care.com.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Call 211 and find out what resources are available to you in your area.
I'm sorry that you allowed yourself to be used for this long. Time to move out even if you have to go to a homeless shelter. At least you won't be living in filth.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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cover9339 Dec 11, 2024
Not necessarily, shelters can (and many do) have their own set of problems.
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You will have to quit this apparently non-paying job and leave.
Problematic is that I am guessing you are living there free? And have no funds of your own nor options for living elsewhere?
I would say you need now to be couch surfing until you can find a paying job. Apply at care centers, nursing homes and start at the bottom with housekeeping or kitchen help if need be, and work your way up. Once you have saved for a few months room in someone's home (you may find co workers have a room for rent) you can leave off begging for shelter in shelters or on friend's couches, and get a room, work your way up to efficiency apartment and so on.

If you are leaving an elder in need of care you will inform the family of your date of moving out.
If family doesn't step up you will call APS in your area to report an elder in need. You can also report to police or local sheriff if there is no APS in your immediate area.

Best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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So all your doing for her is clean? There is not program who will pay someone to just clean. Now if your helping her to bathe, dress her, and take her to appts...then you nay get paid by Medicaid but she needs to fit that criteria.

I would Not have lasted this long. I may have done one big clean up but I would not have continued to do this type of cleaning for adults. Its time for you to say "no more" and leave. Then call APS to have them investigate. The animals being allowed to go in the house is a health problem.
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BurntCaregiver Dec 11, 2024
If all the woman needs is homemaker/companion services, insurance will pay for some hours.

I had many clients over the years where I did nothing for them other than clean their homes and Medicare paid for it.

If the client only needs cleaning done then that's what the caregiver does.
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Look up your local homeless shelters and ask for help. They will also help you with finding real employment.
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Reply to MG8522
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I had almost the same situation. I took care of a friend for seven years and was told when the house was sold that he would pay me $10,000. I never got a penny. I’m about to take him to court. I don’t know what else to do I’m homeless I have no money. He never paid me for taking care of him while I live there I cooked. I cleaned and worked on the roof. I did work in the yard. I took him to his doctors appointment. I was with him in the hospital during his surgeries. I mean, I couldn’t leave that he’s doing me like this, but I have been so depressed. I just don’t know what to do. I have to hire pro bono attorney.
He met some people on drugs and he kept bringing them to the house. I was scared for my life. He started threatening me. If I didn’t leave he was gonna throw my stuff in the yard. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do so I finally left. It was a horrible situation. I can’t even sleep at night. I’m so depressed.
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JoAnn29 Dec 11, 2024
Always get it in writing and notarized.
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Contact your state's Department of Social Services and find out about some emergency resources and temporary housing. You say you have no living family or friends who can afford to help you. Do you have any family or friends who have a couch you can sleep on? You probably do. Most people do if they haven't burned all their bridges as the saying goes.

Local homeless shelters can help you too and can help you find other resources like employment and job training. In fact I had a caregiver come looking for a job a few months ago who was living in a womens' shelter. I had to turn her down because we don't provide live-in caregivers but I turned her over to another agency a friend of mine runs who put her in a nice well-paying, live-in position. She's happy and doing very well with her two clients (a married couple). So many homecare agencies are looking for live-in help. Even if it wasn't a high-paying position for you, it would be better than the nothing you're getting now and you'd save money, and would have a homecare agency behind you. Believe me my friend, no one gets service from one of us that isn't being paid for.

Please look into going to a shelter for a while if you need to. In the meantime don't do a damn thing for her or them. Do not help her in any way. I mean absolutely nothing. Leave her sitting in her own mess if she makes one. Also, if her place is your legal address no one can just throw you out. You would have to be legally evicted.

Since there are no employment records of you working for your client and her family they think they can get away with not paying you.
You say they have money to blow. So if their cash and valuables happened to get up and walk away one day, it would be a mystery because it's only your client and her sons living in the house.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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cover9339 Dec 11, 2024
Shelter may be worse then where OP is at; many are set up to get the person out of there ASAP, if they were really nice then many people would get to comfortable and be reluctant to leave.
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It’s time to make a very specific plan. This is about survival. You can get out of your situation. BurntCaregiver gave you some good suggestions. I hope that you follow up on one (or more) of them.

In future, be sure to get everything related to a rental agreement or job in writing: this is for your own protection.

Please continue to check in here, and let us know how things are progressing.

I wish you the very best.
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