Mother has been living with us for the last several years. We are the sole caregivers. She has dementia and is 92 years old. She eats well, sleeps well but does experience hallucinations every several weeks for two or three days. We are thinking of taking mother to Mexico for a few weeks. We can keep a close eye on her while away. Interested in hearing from others that have travelled internationally with parents with dementia? Any travel tips?
Because she lives with you doesn't mean that you have to take her everywhere with you. We all need a break, that includes you.
If you are flying notify the airline that you will need wheelchair transport. This will speed things up getting through security and to the gate.
If possible get prechecked with TSA
Have an extra change of clothes that you can get to easily. (have a large plastic bag and if needed be prepared to toss soiled clothes away)
If there is a chance that she will experience any anxiety medication can help BUT she will be a fall risk and that can make things much more difficult.
People with dementia do not like it when their "routine" is disrupted. Be prepared for "I want to go home, I want to leave" and be prepared for a temper flair up.
Any OCD tendencies she has will be worse. Pacing, moaning, picking, spitting etc. These are just ways to "self soothe"
What I STRONGLY suggest if it is at all possible is use this 2 week vacation to get away from caregiving .
Place mom in Respite and enjoy some time to yourselves.
If mom is on Hospice Medicare/Medicaid will cover some Respite stay any time that is not covered mom can pay from her funds.
If you want to see how she does on a long trip do a "practice trip"
Pack a lunch and all the things you would need for a 5 to 8 hour day.
Take a car ride for a bit, if there is a train station near you take the train and remain on the train for at least 1 hour. Get off, walk for a while 30 minutes at least. Find a spot, have lunch either the lunch you packed or in a restaurant, walk around a bit more go into a few stores then back to the train.
I can almost bet that part way through all this she will be wanting to go home.
Imagine doing that for 2 weeks.
If you do go
Get a few door alarms (they look like doorstop wedges but if the door is opened an alarm will set off) this way you know if she tries to leave.
Make sure you bring all her medical info and any paperwork that you have indicating that you are POA
My Mom was in about stage 5 or 6 of Dementia when I placed her in an AL for respite care that turned into permanently. My niece was being married some 8 hrs away and no way was I taking Mom. The drive first of all and having frequent stops. Changing her in a gas station restroom was not something I wanted to do. Mom wandered at night so that meant she could not have her own room. I would be babysitting the whole time. After 20 months of caring for her in my home, I needed a break.
If you fly, I think what Mom would need to go thru would be too much for her. And, think of the bathrooms. And COVID spread in such an enclosed area.
These are some of the considerations I would have. It is generally thought that travel can cause the dementia to advance, however dementia will advance no matter where you are. If you can speak Spanish and are traveling to family it would be one scenario, an unknown environment for you would be riskier. But that would be true of any traveler regardless of dementia/age.
The only experience I have with elders with dementia traveling out of town was during hurricanes and they all did great, rose to the occasion amazingly. On the other hand, when taken out in close proximity to their home for doctor visits, a drive, etc. could leave them confused when arriving back in front of their own home. There truly is nothing predictable with dementia but if tending your mom is difficult now, I wouldn’t expect it to be easier than it is at home and of course, more difficult for you to manage all of the unknown issues.
I hope you will take your trip regardless. It is important for everyone to be refreshed and to live your life rather than waiting for mom to die.
Big Hugs
If you need a break, go! Enjoy a vacation and find respite care for your mother. Caring for someone is incredibly stressful and putting your life on hold will exacerbate that stress.