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He was covered head to toe with feces and didn't realize it when he went to a dr appt
they called an ambulance
I asked my aunt to call my sister about it (we dont talk) and yes got emotional on the phone with her, the hosp said he shouldn't drive anymore and should go into AL
my father has refused help since my mother passed away and thinks he is OK and I knew this would happen sooner of later I suppose it happens a lot
I think a few of you may remember it
I have tried and begged and screamed for him to get help and he didn't so here he is
he was even unpleasant when he called me from the ambulance he is fine anyway



I am giving the hospital my sister's number and that's it
why should I deal with these awful people, I will post my sisters email below-this is why I have to drop these horrible people I reached the end of my rope I appreciate this forum and the people here
"I’ve called the PD so don’t even think about going near that house tonight unless you want to get arrested!
He doesn’t want you in there when he is not home because you are a THIEF!!!
I will send him clothes overnight from Amazon!
U r still delusional if you think I will ever have a civil conversation with you after you ransacked the house when Mom died and took everything of value.
Walt knows what he has and he’s made a list so stay tf out!
You are a disgusting excuse for a human being, yelling at Mom the last day she was even alive. U r sick! It’s no one’s fault but ur own that you didn’t finish school, or even stay with a job if it got hard bc u r a lazy pos and want to freeload off of everyone else’s hard work and I will not stand for it!
Karma will get you sooner than later bc u r so ignorant and think ur always right. Everyone has your number now so u can lay off the poor me act u miserable, evil pathetic loser!
DO NOT CONTACT ME or I’ll send your pathetic message to the police and slap a restraining order on you!!"

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Mary, ignore comments that try to blame you, some people just like to spew their venom and call it hard truth.

I have dealt with people that accuse me of every vile thing they ever did or thought about doing. False accusations trying to make themselves look better, feel better, who knows what motivation people operate under when spewing their toxic venom. Not my problem, I know the truth and so do you.

I would encourage you to wash your hands of your sister and step waaaay back with your dad. You have been and always will be the family of origin scapegoat. They are not worth the heartache you suffer at their hands.

If you really want to help, sign up to volunteer, there are people that would welcome and appreciate you for helping them.

Time to, unfortunately, shake the dust of these people from your shoes.
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mary543 Jun 12, 2025
thank you I like the idea of volunteering having someone appreciate my efforts and empathy

suggestions on a good way to volunteer?
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Mary, you went through a traumatic experience, it's going to take time to come down from that. Please be kind to yourself, give it time to process, but not to much time to rumitate in your brain, where you can't let this go, and you can find your peace in life.

Your dad is safe now!! Yes these stories like yours happen often here, unfortunately.

🫂🙏💕
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mary543 Jun 11, 2025
Thank you (hugs all) I will post an update but I am in a bad place now and don't want people who know nothing about me and my situation say they are giving "hard truths"

it's just idiotic

so I will post an update if this poster stays away from my posts

she seems to skulk here watching everything and posting on every thread
I hope she/he helps some of you
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Proud of you for putting this on the family members who did not want you interferring, Mary. You did your best. Just continue to provide the health care providers with the phone number of family members who are dealing with it.

If you are worried about his health and safety call APS, if you have not done already.
At some point, given human rights to live their own lives as they choose, and after you have done what you can, there's just not a thing you can do.
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Mary,

Be kind and gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with nice friends.

I also have a mentally ill sister. It is tough dealing with the rages. I had step way back.
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Scampie1 Jun 11, 2025
Why does borderline personality disorder comes to mind. I have a weird sister as well who is eighty four.
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Give the hospital your sister’s number . You are not POA .
The only other thing you can do is call APS .
The relationship with these people is over . Obviously there is alot of bad history and dysfunction .
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mary543 Jun 12, 2025
I am doing that tomorrow
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Be joyful and happy to be out of this mess. Anyone who is that old driving to a doctor's appointment arriving covered in feces is not dealing with a full deck. I read the email sent by your sister and she sounds dysfunctional. People spin false narratives all the time; so, I'm taking what was said in that email with a grain of salt. I don't think that you plan to steal anything out of your father's smelly and dirty house to bring to your home. You said that you couldn't stand the smell when you went for short visits so why in the world would you want contaminated objects that probably stink to high heavens in your home.

I suspect your father has either mental health issues or dementia going on. I don't know the full details about what actually happened but family dysfunction runs deep. It sounds like you did the best you could, but it's nothing you can do with a person who chooses to rot in their own filth. This is a job for APS.

When it is that much animosity, it is best to move on from it.

I believe you. You can't recover in a place that made you sick. My only brother passed away last year. I have two older siblings in their eighties that I'm not close to either. The other brother hated my guts and truth be told, there is no love lost there on my part either. My older sister spewed a bunch of lies on me when I was taking care of the household when my mother became ill and died leaving behind a disabled adult child. I was living in the family home. Of course, I was accused of being lazy and such. All lies of course. After I finished the process of my sister being placed, I moved out. I attended the hearing and made sure that everything went as planned. Then I didn't see any family until seven years later.

My suggestion is don't let family define you with their lies and false narratives.
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No one needs that kind of treatment.
Now...If no one is POA there is a very good possibility that this is going to end up in Court as your dad will need a Guardian.
Not an easy thing and it can be expensive. (In theory the Ward is the one that pays for the process)
If this does happen you will or should be notified by the Court when the case is heard. If you think that your sister is unable to be a Guardian you need to inform the court. this dies not mean you would have to be Guardian what it would mean is the Court would appoint one and dad would then be a Ward of the State.
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mary543 Jun 12, 2025
Thank you so much but I don't want anything to do with this'

thanks for explaining the guardianship

I am absolutely not spending any money on any of this so thank you for the info I appreciate it
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Mary, I have issues with my family too. It's not fun at all. I'm still doing some for my mom, but I've decided when mom is gone, I'm walking away from everything, nothing is more important to me than my mental health, and if I have to deal with any of my family, it will hurt my mental health . It is stuff and things, that's all it is. Walk away, get some therapy, for all you have been through, breath and be kind to yourself.
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Scampie1 Jun 11, 2025
Speak! Nothing but the truth.
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Mary,

If this is indeed the email your own sister sent you, I'm going to say there's a lot of hurt and hard feelings there and that doesn't come from nowhere. You should read this email over and be honest with yourself about how much of it is true. Take some accountability for that. I've had hard feelings and fights with my sibs too, but never anything like this. It takes two to create this level of hate between siblings. The fact that you will post a PRIVATE email your sister sent you on the internet for strangers proves some of what your sister is saying about the 'poor me' act here.

At least your father is in the hospital and will get the help he needs. Get the help you need. Call APS anyway and let them know what happened. The hospital and APS will get your father into care.
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mary543 Jun 11, 2025
You have no idea about my relationship with my sibling. That was not necessary and was frankly rude.
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Mary
it sounds like you’ve had a terrible time with this
I hope you manage to find some peace
wishing you and all well

ps accidentally liked a reply; I genuinely don’t think there is judgement here - I think everyone all together has so much experience of situations and shares different perspectives
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