I am trying to take care of my mom that is a witch and then I have bad feelings towards myself because I know its wrong to feel the way I do. My mom has never been a nice person and I think she has mental issues. Nothing my family does is good enough for her and my brother wont do anything. He tells me that he don't want to see her unhappy but she wasn't a good mom. My husband does more for her than anyone and she treats him like a dog
I felt blessed to be able to care for my mother for, even though she always looked at life thru a half-empty glass, still she did the best she could to protect, feed and guide me. I saw her as a good mother despite her negativity.
Yes, you may have hurt feelings and you certainly have the right to have all your feelings, even what you might consider negative ones. Still, by doing what you believe to be right in your situation and NOT dumping your negative feelings onto your mother, has to be admired.
There are places you need to be careful. A nursing home it is important to look at how well they care for their patients is the facility is clean and free of odors and most important. How a nursing home has a good palliative care plan. End of live care. This was the most important issue that worried me. I would die if I ever saw my mother suffer. I have seen elderly in other facilities suffer and you have family members tell the staff. I think you are giving my mother too much Morphine. There are good facilities that handle family member who are unreasonable. Donna to answer your question. I am assuming your mother is in assisted living. I am assuming she also has Medicare. If your mother has a house or other property. I would put it up for sale so you mother can stay where she is. If your mother has declined and they want to place her in a nursing home. When you talk about financially to place her in a nursing home. You will need to apply for Medicaid. She will be accepted. The problem is you can keep money for burial or it is better to do it when she is living. The most money she is allowed to have is $2000. There is also an acknowledgment that the money that spent my Medicaid. There will be a lean put on the house. There is one way around it. If a child has lived with there parent for two years. Hopefully it could be proved by voting records. Then the house will be left to the child. But, the child cannot sell the house. If there is another parent living in the home. Medicaid cannot claim there money if there is a spouse in the home until his death. If you have already sold a property. That belonged to your mother. To apply for Medicaid, they will know if property has been sold. But, you will have to agree to pay the Nursing Home before Medicaid will kick in. I live in Massachusetts but, Medicad is federal. The laws are in every state. Today the average cost of a Nursing Home is 12,000. to 13,000 per month. There is nothing you can hide.
In general, Medicaid recipients can only "leave" a home to a spouse, and when that spouse dies, then the house is still sold "to recover" all the money the county spent on the first spouse's nursing home bills.
It's never allowed to go to one of the children or grandchildren.
Commonly, if a child, not grandchild care for a parent a least for 2 years. If you have registered to vote in the place where your parents would have gone. The NH can verify this with voting records. If one spouse dies. There is one spouse. He would live in the house as long as lives. True once he dies. The house they like sold after nine month so Medicaid can collect there money. I have worked in a geriatric facility for years. This has been the rule. As a grandchild you are not eligible only a child who lived with a parent for two years
I truly wish the county could have at least left me find a new home within a reasonable time frame; but they were not interested in anything but the money. And I was the only grandchild who visited my grandparent in the nursing home.
Well at least if the county could care less about my time spent for my grandma, she appreciated it. And always asked me if I was there to take her back home, I will never forget the distressed look in her eyes, and tears, when I explained she would have to stay at the NH.