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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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From your profile: I am caring for my mother Mary, who is 92 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, hearing loss, mobility problems, and vision problems.
About Me Have been caring for mom and dad since 10/19. Dad passed away on 9/20/20. He was 9o mom is now 92. They were married for 74 yrs. She is so lonely. I am so tired of being responsible for her well-being. She can be so difficult to work with and her decision making is not good. Her hearing is very poor and doesn’t hear half of what u said to her or misunderstands and it becomes an argument. I know she is frustrated but does not understand why it frustrates me. She can’t drive so I am the means by which she gets to dr appts and vets and whatever else. She is not the mother I used to have. My life is not my own any more.
With dementia & hearing loss at play, your mother needs more help than you may be able to give her alone at home. It's time to hire caregivers (with her money) to give you respite or to think about Memory Care Assisted Living for mom now. You can get her to the audiologist for hearing aids IF you think she'll wear them; it can be tricky with dementia at play, so feel her out on that subject. Sometimes, when hearing improves, life improves for you and for her.
Dementia itself can be a very frustrating thing to deal with, I know; my mother had advanced dementia and so I was dealing with it for quite some time myself. Mom lived in Memory Care AL for the last 3 years of her life, and in regular AL before her mobility and dementia got bad. If you are new to the whole arena, I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here: https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Teepa Snow has some great videos on YouTube which may be helpful for you to watch also.
As far as burnout goes, again, get some help in your home to give you respite, or get mom placed in Memory Care, Skilled Nursing, or send her off to respite for a week or two in a Memory Care AL while you take some well deserved down time for yourself. You can look online for area Memory Care ALFs that offer respite care on a weekly basis.
I made my Mom get hearing aids at 92 (although she has just the very beginnings of cognitive decline). I told her I would not provide her daily, on-hands care if I had to scream at her to do it. It's too exhausting for me and isolating for her. We went through Costco and had an excellent experience. I often have to put them in for her (she forgets but also has bad enough arthritis in her hands and neuropathy in her fingertips) but it is well worth it. If she cannot afford hearing aids or you thing she won't be able to answer the audiology test accurately, then there are inexpensive hearing amplifiers for sale online. They may help and are better than nothing. A lot of "solutions" will depend on her financial situation. If she has only SS check and no other assets or savings, then contact social services for your county and have her assessed to see if she qualifies for in-home services. I think your goal is to transition her into a good, reputable facility that is close to you and accepts Medicaid. My MIL is is such a place -- they do exist. See if any neighbors or friends are willing to stay with her while you get a break and also visit some facilities in person. Talking to a social worker will be helpful to you.
You need help ASAP. You can not be your mom's everything. Hire some helpers now and get out of the house for a few hours every day. Having aides for my mom is a life saver. Was 4 days now 5 and now I'm thinking that I want it every day since the weekends suck compared to weekdays!
I'm also getting her on the waiting list at a memory care facility. I don't feel like she is bad enough for memory care but as her condition slowly and steadily declines, I'm guessing that it won't be long.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I am caring for my mother Mary, who is 92 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, hearing loss, mobility problems, and vision problems.
About Me
Have been caring for mom and dad since 10/19. Dad passed away on 9/20/20. He was 9o mom is now 92. They were married for 74 yrs. She is so lonely. I am so tired of being responsible for her well-being. She can be so difficult to work with and her decision making is not good. Her hearing is very poor and doesn’t hear half of what u said to her or misunderstands and it becomes an argument. I know she is frustrated but does not understand why it frustrates me. She can’t drive so I am the means by which she gets to dr appts and vets and whatever else. She is not the mother I used to have. My life is not my own any more.
With dementia & hearing loss at play, your mother needs more help than you may be able to give her alone at home. It's time to hire caregivers (with her money) to give you respite or to think about Memory Care Assisted Living for mom now. You can get her to the audiologist for hearing aids IF you think she'll wear them; it can be tricky with dementia at play, so feel her out on that subject. Sometimes, when hearing improves, life improves for you and for her.
Dementia itself can be a very frustrating thing to deal with, I know; my mother had advanced dementia and so I was dealing with it for quite some time myself. Mom lived in Memory Care AL for the last 3 years of her life, and in regular AL before her mobility and dementia got bad. If you are new to the whole arena, I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Teepa Snow has some great videos on YouTube which may be helpful for you to watch also.
As far as burnout goes, again, get some help in your home to give you respite, or get mom placed in Memory Care, Skilled Nursing, or send her off to respite for a week or two in a Memory Care AL while you take some well deserved down time for yourself. You can look online for area Memory Care ALFs that offer respite care on a weekly basis.
Best of luck!
You need help ASAP. You can not be your mom's everything. Hire some helpers now and get out of the house for a few hours every day. Having aides for my mom is a life saver. Was 4 days now 5 and now I'm thinking that I want it every day since the weekends suck compared to weekdays!
I'm also getting her on the waiting list at a memory care facility. I don't feel like she is bad enough for memory care but as her condition slowly and steadily declines, I'm guessing that it won't be long.