My father was appointed of VA Fiduciary in 2023. There has been very little communication with the Fiduciary. They refuse to speak to me because of my ADHD and I tend to get a little loud and they call me hostile when all I’m doing is advocating for my father because I filed a report against this Fiduciary because bills were being paid late. Communication is far in few in between and we have not received any financials from the Fiduciary on how much money my father has or how much my father makes from his VA disability because I made a purchase on TikTok for my father on his VA True Link card that the Fiduciary gives him an allowance on. They are accusing me of stealing my father‘s money. Everyone in my family knows that my dad can’t manage. His money has never been able to manage his money. He has been diagnosed with dementia, but we have a Neuro psych consult coming up at the first of the month because he does not have dementia and was diagnosed it with it in 2022 and has no changes. He’s had a couple of strokes and many strokes and it has bipolar disorder when the adult protective services came out he spoke clearly he spoke of sound mind and body. And told the adult protective services gentleman that know my daughter isn’t stealing money. She asked me and if I have it, I tell her she can have it. He’s done that all of my life. Now I have a Fiduciary accusing me of stealing my father‘s money yet I don’t know what to do because I’m not stealing my father‘s money. I get a stipend from the VA every month to be my father‘s Caregiver. I make my own money by selling items driving Uber when I have a Caregiver here and we just share a joint account but because this Fiduciary doesn’t like me and she didn’t call and ask about the charge on the True Link card, she automatically accused me of elder extortion. What do I do because everyone in my family that he has spoken with has told them that no she would never steal money that my dad gives her money when she needs it. All she has to do is ask. I’m terrified to death because I have my own health problems as it is for my Dad exposure agent and I’ve done anything wrong. We share Joy account. It makes it easier with someone with ADHD to manage one checking account instead of several yes I have loans that come out of my joint account with my father, but they’re in my name and occasionally they come out with his paycheck comes in before my check comes in but my check comes in it I deposited over into my father‘s account from my account and the money is back in there. In the VA appointed Fiduciary has refused to speak with my father or return. Any emails to call him when we call. She’s always busy or doesn’t isn’t available to take his call. He has never spoken with his Fiduciary. What am I supposed to do?
In fact, the fiduciary usually has a duty to:
- protect the veteran’s privacy,
- manage funds in the veteran’s best interest,
- and disclose information only to authorized parties.
Whether an adult child can access information depends on several factors...
The adult child may have rights if:
- they are the veteran’s legal guardian or conservator,
- they hold valid financial power of attorney,
- they are a co-fiduciary,
- the veteran has given written permission,
- or a court order requires disclosure.
The fiduciary may refuse disclosure if:
- the child is not legally authorized,
- the veteran objected,
- or the fiduciary believes disclosure could harm or exploit the veteran.
The VA fiduciary program itself requires recordkeeping and accountability to the VA — not necessarily to family members. That said, many fiduciaries voluntarily share basic updates with close family when appropriate, especially if the family is involved in caregiving. But that is often discretionary unless another legal authority exists."
(information aggregated by ChatGPT)
Regarding the theft suspicion... don't do anything until there's an actual accusation. Fiducairies are busy with multiple clients so no surprise they aren't readily available. If your Dad has a diagnosis of impairment (which he probably does and that's why he has an assigned fiduciary to begin with) then I think they'd feel like the information gotten from him might not be accurate... and having dealth with several elders in my family, this is more true that you can ever know.
Your father should not be giving his money to your daughter or to you, and you cannot take his money for your use or give it to your daughter. It is for his use only.
So begin by opening your own account(s), separate from your father's, and put all of your money in there and pay all of your own bills out of there, going forward. And tell your daughter that she can no longer ask for or accept any money from your dad.
Gather all of the bank statements and checkbooks for however long you've been handling your father's money, and keep them in a folder for the Fiduciary to go through, if she needs to.