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My husband is in memory care and is in middle stage vascular dementia. He thinks he is getting better. He seems to be having more times of clarity. I don’t want to let him come home. I don’t think it would be good for either of us. But we have somewhat normal phone conversations. Today he asked” What happens if I decide that I don’t want to be here anymore?” How do I answer that?

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You tell him it’s up to the doctor and change the subject.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to PeggySue2020
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"I have to keep you here as long as it is necessary for your health and safety" then change the subject. It took my mom a long time to stop insisting on moving.
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Reply to JustAnon
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We can discuss this with your doctor at the next appointment.
This way the doctor will be the one that will tell him that he has to remain where he is.
You can "remind" him about all the activities that he has where he is.
About all the people that are there to help him.
About the friends he has made.
About all the people that would miss him if he were to leave.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Yes, tell him it's up to his Doctor. You are keeping him SAFE. Then change the subject!
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Reply to Dawn88
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Ensure that he is not suicidal. If he appears to be so, then both of you can call the national suicide holiness. Let staff know if he keeps asking
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Reply to MACinCT
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Be where? Are you sure he means be in the MC or does he mean be here among the living? I would ask him more questions to be sure.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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