My mum is 81 years old, she is riddled with arthritis and osteoporosis. On top of this she has an eating disorder (she will never admit it obviously) but she weighs 5 stone. She is tiny. She has had every test under the sun and there is nothing wrong with her except her lack of eating and the arthritis and Osteoporosis (meaning causing the weightloss - she has always been like this, but it is the worst now obviously). Over the years she has broken many bones and some have not healed well but because of the osteoporosis, there isn't a whole lot that can be done.
She broke her leg (just below the knee, tibia) in April. The Dr has advised that it still hasn't healed and is unlikely to now. She currently has carers four times a day. She bought herself a cheap electric wheelchair previously and didn't have a bad little life with friends as she lives in an independent living building. However, I'm concerned now that she can't transfer on her own and is stuck only be able to transfer to the wheelchair/chair/bed with the help of carers. The problem with this is that obviously they come at certain times and sometimes it is too long for her in the wheelchair to wait for them to come back and transfer her, she can't get to the social activities sometimes because the carers have finished. I'm scared to lift her because she is so frail and boney. She suffers from pressure sores, due to the lack of weight and obviously sitting all the time.
I am an only child, I work full time, I have two children - so life is full always anyway. I spend all Saturday to to 2 pm with her and go an evening or two in the week. I do her shopping, cleaning and deal with all the drs, hospital etc. I speak to her every day. I moved her closer to me, but it is still a struggle as I work full time so I just can't actually be there. I can't afford to give up work by any stretch of the imagination. She can't and neither can I afford to pay carers for more time. The guilt is real.
What other options are there for her? Is there something else that can be done now that the dr has said it won't heal? Is there alternative ways to transfer between bed/chair/wheelchair without carers support or am I just dreaming? Is there anything else anyone can think of to make life easier for her. She hates that she can't just do stuff for herself anymore..
I agree with Fawnby. The pressure sores are really serious and will start causing her pain. They advance quickly.
In the US Mom's doctor prescribed a wound care RN to come to the house to treat the pressure sore. The RN came around twice a week.
I would talk to your Mother's doctor about the pressure sore and treating it.
You're focusing very well on the day-to-day living issues but need to realign your thinking to realize that it's the long game that you've entered now. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this! I wish it could be otherwise. She is lucky to have you as her advocate.
She recently did a stint in a nursing home when the cast was up to her crotch but mentally she didn't cope well at all, the lack of eating got even worse and the depression from no visitors other than me was hard on her. Once the cast came down to below the knee, I asked for her to be moved back home to her apartment because she has lots of friends and they have been amazing visiting every day and that has sorted her mentally but she is started to go downhill again now that she has realised that she can't do much for herself.
I have called out the district nurse regarding the pressure sores.