My husband is wheelchair bound and has a dementia. He is 82. I am a healthy 80 year old and his only caregiver. I alone, is responsible for all his needs including medications and meals, etc. I often wonder, what happens if I should have a seizure or any kind of fall which renders me unconscious ( God Forbid) This is always on my mind. I know I should keep a telephone near him at all times but I worry that he may forget to dial 911... This is always on my mind. I hope this never happens but I worry. Any suggestions ?
Medical Alert Systems is one company that has an alert pendant with an automatic fall detector. It will not always pick up a fall if you are able to break your fall or go down slow. It will pick up a hard fall. It doesn't require a landline! Has better signal reception than most phone..in my area. The fob works within 300 feet, and there is a second palm size unit that goes in you pocket, purse, or in belt clip case for when you are away from the house. It has a GPS locator that will know your location within 300ft.
You are so wise to prepare ahead. I had a neighbor who took a fall gathering things for a trip to Europe. Her daughter called daily to check in, but at first was not alarmed because she knew her mom was busy with last minute preparations for the trip. So it was day 3 when they called police for a wellness check. She had died from complications of that fall. I fall alert would have saved her life.
The unexpected is just that..unexpected. Planning ahead, just in case, with a plan B & C is important and can give you great peace of mind at any age.
Heck, I had to go to plan C when I went into labor with my second son. Good thing I had not counted on figuring something out when it happened.
May God Bess you and keep you both safe.
The emergency checklist includes items that might be forgotten in the flurry of activity... a reminder to notify my sister, book to read because the ER always means lots of waiting around, both of our purses, healthy snacks for myself, medical records binder, winter coat (forgot this for her once because they had her wrapped in blankets when leaving the house), change of clothes, phone, and phone charger.
The first time I used the information from the envelope, the paramedics were thrilled. They also told me I had plenty of time to gather my stuff on the list, as they had to do some "stuff" with Mom in the ambulance. It worked out super well. Some people keep a "go-bag" ready, but I prefer the checklist for now.
Mom also wears a medical alarm button (Help I've Fallen & Can't Get Up), which is a separate service from MedicAlert.org. There are many different services for the button with various monthly fees.
MedicAlert.org lets you wear an emblem with your account number and your major medical issue engraved on it. If you are unresponsive and medical responders call the number, they can get a complete medical history (that you have previously provided). I maintain the information for each of us online. They charge an annual fee, which I think is worth the peace of mind.
After some recent non-injury falls in MC, they put a pendant on our mother so she can call for help. She has no idea what it is and often just pushes the button. In her case it just seems it would be a nuisance for them!
If you could enlist friends, neighbors or relatives to call at a certain time of day or you call them, just to check in, the worst case is he might be "alone" for a day. If there are no friends or relatives available to do this, then I would consider hiring an agency to do a minimum daily check (minimums vary - the place we initially hired would do 1 hour, some require more time, so check around.) Since you would be paying for this service, consider having them take care of some other tasks for you (again, what they might provide would vary, so think of what services might be beneficial, such as having them bathe him for you. It will help you, and reduce chances you might injure yourself!)
I would think that if emergency services came for you, they would realize he was not safe and would be transported somewhere - you could always contact the local emergency (FD, PD, dispatch?) and inquire about how to leave instructions with them to care for him if you were to have an emergency.
I hear your heart and I understand. I think you are overwhelmed, but also at a place, now, where you need more care than you recognize, perhaps, yourself and you may be feeling that. I think you would benefit from the comfort and security of a situation where you both can live and be independent, but within a facility where there is a staff that can check on you...and you have the freedom to come and go and have your car there...and you have a small kitchenette where u can have the option to cook or eat in an inhouse cafeteria on the premises. I use to think it terrrible for families to encourage their parents to give up their homes to live in such places, but I will be totally honest with you. Lately, that has changed. A dear couple i grew up knowing...is my reason for this insightful change of perspective. He has alzheimer and she cared for him and had people come in to the home through Home Instead to assist so she could get out and they did light house keeping and cooking. He passed eventually and the last two yrs she has been alone. It was fine, at first, because she was only 79 and frequently would go stay with her girls in Atlanta for visits at length...and when at home, she still had the Home Instead people, but her kids longer let her drive, so she gets a ride to church and the Home Instead people take her places. She has a schedule and a good life, but is beginning to get lonely. Being real, it is hard on her kid's hearts because she has early stages of dementia, but still able to be somewhat independant...but they call her constantly and have an app on their phones to keep up with her because she gets out and walks. What is hard on her kids is, they do not want to take her out of her home of 40 plus yrs too soon because they want to honor her dignity as she is a very independent soul and loves her home. They are now beginning to inch toward her living with them or a place like i described. They want to give her options and let her choose. But, I can tell u, being alone is getting old fast to her after 2 yrs and she is 81 now. She gets lonely because even with all the help in and out and her places she loves to go daily...there are still 24 long hours in a day. I think if it were me, I would move myself in a place like I described to you because i would want the security and comfort, but still have freedom. And, a place where as u change, it has different levels of care for me or my spouse. That is my insight to u and what i would do after reading your post and trying to put myself in your shoes. Be selective, but look around. There are some very nice places out there and some not so good...Pray and He will guide your steps.
Your concern is valid. I would hope that the EMTs see the situation and call the proper authorities. But it would be nice to have something in place.
Office of aging can help with a Medicaid application. It may be time to place ur DH in a NH. You will be considered the Community Spouse and be left enough money to live on. You will have ur house and a car.
Not sure what state you’re in but mine makes too much for In Home Support Services, so I’m stuck too but definitely look into it. I’m so sad your golden years are being taken :( and yet your only concern is him, that’s very selfless. Please ask his Dr for referrals. Get a “needs assessment” as well.
You are a healthy 80 year old woman, but taking care of someone 24/7 will take a toll on you. That you are fixated on what happens if something happens to you, while you are in good health, I think it is a sign of burnout.
Do you have any reason to think you may have a seizure, fall or pass out? An underlying medical condition perhaps?
Others have suggested Alert systems, which work well for many people. Some people use informal phone trees. Friends call each other by noon each day. If they do not answer, they go to the next step. A great aunt, had her letter carrier ring her bell each day to hand her the mail. The one day she did not answer, he entered the house (he knew where the key was) and found her on the floor. She had fallen out of bed and her 'alert' was on the beside table.
A family friend needed hospitalization last year. He was his wife's caregiver. She was taken to the hospital for respite care as his situation was an emergency and other care was not available at the last minute. We are in Canada, so things are different here.
Is there something that can be set up in advance? Could he have some kind of a medical alert bracelet that says something like "dementia - do not leave alone"? And maybe have the name of a local nursing home noted somewhere with him (fanny pack?) and maybe have arrangements made with said local nursing home so that they already have his info, etc.?
Maybe having a plan would give you peace of mind?
Although there are paid services, our local sheriff's department recently implemented a program using it's dispatchers to call seniors once a day. My church has a program using the ladies circles to call once or twice a day.
There also a fall detecting system (SkyAngel911FD, $180 on Amazon) that works on cellular networks (but does not require a service plan so there's no monthly fee) where you press a button to call 911. Usually the built in GPS can tell emergency personal where you are but in some areas of low cell signal the GPS function doesn't always work. Because it's cellular based, it will work when you are away from home. With a monthly service plan, it can be setup to call a friends list too.
If I can ask without being rude... are you likely to have a seizure or fall unconscious, particularly?
There probably are telecare services which ring in and check up on you every 24 hours, or something like that - they call, you answer or press a button, if they get no response they start the emergency contacts process, that kind of thing; but is that proportionate to how worried you are? It's sensible to plan, though, anyway; why not see what sort of services are available where you live.