I am sure this has been asked before, but the search didn't bring up anything specific.
My mother just moved in with my husband and me. I work from home running three businesses, so I have a companion come in several hours a day while I work or have to go to meetings.
I am unclear if the companion care person is expected to do light housekeeping for all of us, such as washing our clothes or cooking dinner for all of us. We have had a few providers, and some jump in and do it all while others only do what is asked of my mother. She is pretty sick and keeps me up all night and needs attention throughout the day, leaving me little time for chores or self care. Guidance please.
How about this? Light Housekeeping is, doing whatever is necessary to do what is on the care plan. We clean up after ourselves after doing what is on the Care Plan. We mess it up, we must clean it up afterward. We do NOT come in and clean up a filthy house. THAT is for a hired, very well paid housekeeper/cleaner. They get paid a ton more money to do that compared to us.
We are NOT there to clean up the shower, etc. in order to be able to bathe our patient. We ARE to clean up the shower, whatever, AFTER we get done taking care of our patient. We launder only the stuff that we used to take care of our patient and THEIR clothes, linens. Not the rest of the family. I cook for my patient and of course, while fixing for them, I fix for the spouse. I clean it up afterwards, wash the dishes. I am not expected to prepare for everyone else and do all the dishes. I have also had this happen.... family uses the kitchen AFTER I clean it up and they leave it. They do NOT clean it so expect me to clean it after them? I did not. I was with my patient doing other things.. companion, too. I had one family wanting me to strip all 4 beds. 3 for college age kids, and what would end up being 4 loads of laundry every day. I was also expected to go get lunch for patient, mother... and 3 more people. I would come back from getting the food, and have to make 2-3 trips from my car to their house to bring in the food. The kids were NEVER asked to assist me. Neither did the hubby. I was expected to make cupcakes for the 13 year old daughter's school function. Her mom had told her to help me but she refused, hid in her bedroom while I did it. I do NOT do that anymore. No. We are there for the patient(s). NOT The whole family. We are getting paid to take care of 1-2 people. Their son's best friend bashed into my car one day, left so I had to figure out who crashed into my car. Driver's side door bashed in, glass all over in my car. And then, they refused to fix my car. But they finally did when they realized I was NOT going to back off from this and allow them to get away with this. Kid was 16. I had been getting phone calls from their lawyer. It was awful. Just trying to take care of people. Such disrespect.
No, they don't do anything for you. If you had aides that did you are lucky. If Mom needs this much care, maybe its time to place her.
Sometimes "companions" and "sitters" are responsible for nothing other than setting up lunch, taking person to appointments and to other places, and staying with them to be certain they are safe. They may more appropriately be called "sitters". As in they will keep the elder occupied and satisfied, much as a baby sitter would with young children.
It is CRUCIAL that you speak up when you hire someone and describe both your elder, her needs, and your expectations.
As a business person you already know that clear-cut information, before making an agreement, is the second step (after vetting).
On the other hand, I've known 2 baby-sitters that cleaned and straightened, only because they were wired that way, without being told or with any expectation.
I'm wired that way. I can't stand mess.
Communication, (except with a lawyer:), is free.
If you are hiring privately , you need to let them know what you want as well as ask what they are willing to do and find the right fit for your Mom and your family . If the companion is doing your laundry , your dinner, or other things for the family the companion should expect more money .
In general some companions are just that , a companion to entertain . The duties you describe are more of a home health aide , which as described below by Joann would take care of all the needs of your mother .
Anything done for you is above pay grade unless you pay extra .
I’m a retired nurse , got bored during Covid . I work as a nanny part time since 2020. Nannies have the same issue . Some families expect a lot without wanting to pay the extra money . I take care of the children’s needs . Bathing , meals, laundry, clean up after the children . I do not make dinner for the parents nor do the parents laundry . I’m not the family housekeeper/ chef . If a family wants that , it’s not a good fit for me and they need to hire someone willing to do that . You need to have the same conversation with who you interview to find a good fit for you . And be willing to pay extra money for asking them to do things for you .
Because I am a neat freak , I do straighten up the living areas , put things away , and leave the kitchen cleaner than I find it , but that’s just me . I do not enter the parents’ master bedroom/bath area . It is noticed and appreciated by the parents .
This is tricky...no one wants to be taken advantage of. Usually, a companion is just that; company for the elderly. You can hire services to clean, meals, CNA, etc. Find out what health insurance offers.
If you are hiring independently, sit down and have a discussion and write up something; especially if your mother likes the person. These things can get out of hand where the caregiver may not return.
I know you're tired but the Church ladies and friends visiting Mom is different than wash the floor, empty the basket and clean the toilet. I would hire a housekeeper once a week. You can cross train for these back-breaking jobs. They don't pay. The private company owners make all the $$$ while the person in the trenches gets the lowest wage.
It depends on what they allow or you can get away with but people know down deep if they are being taken advantage of. If your mother was in an Assisted Living, everything is a la carte and each private company has their own contract.
Laundry for one is different than "laundry for all of us". Again, cooking for "all of us". Your mother's level of care seems demanding so I would just stick with the focus on your mother.
I was a caregiver for 25 years many of those in private duty. I didn't get taken advantage of. I was very clear with clients and their families exactly what I was willing to do and what I wasn't. That I was not hired to take their responsibility for their family member. I got things in writing too. My money was to be on time every week, and paid in full. Every client and their family understood if my pay wasn't there on payday, their "loved one" would be left on their own with no care unless they explained themselves and I found their explanation reasonable. Some families I'd grant a one or two day grace period to if my pay was late. Others required a visit from my then husband and his cousins to retrieve my owed pay.
I was always very clear that I was not flexible on hours because I had multiple clients on my service. So there wasn't going to be any leaving their LO with me past my paid and agreed upon schedule. I was always very clear to clients and families that they are not to cross me on my rules. I dropped two elders with dementia off at the police station because their families thought they could just leave them with me and I'd take care of them until they returned. Nope. Not happening and those people had to learn the hard way.
It's all about clarity and communication.
I have a homecare company. Not for one second do I allow any of my people to be treated poorly by clients or their families. If potential clients and their families want a servant/master relationship with their hired caregiver, I am not the company they should use.