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Mom had surgery 6 months ago. She had a ruptured hernia and they patched her up. She is back in the hospital with another hernia and bowel obstruction. Doctor said surgery would be intense and this is a difficult thing to fix because the scar tissue from surgeries increases likelihood of recurrence. The original surgery was traumatic for her. She has severe cognitive decline. She is combative with the staff, kept pulling the tube out of her nose and the IVs out so they tied her hands in "mittens" that were tied to the bed. When I got to the hospital the day they put her in restraints she was having a panic attack and writhing in agony. It was horrific.
If her bowel is in knots from scar tissue and the surgeries put her through hell, it calls into question repeating surgeries. At what point will the doctor say there is nothing more they can do besides feed her intravenously? What if mom refuses another surgery? I am her medical POA but I don't want to keep torturing her to keep her alive when her quality of life is so poor.
Thanks for sharing any experience with this.

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I’m sorry you’re going through this with your mom, I agree it does sound horrific. Unfortunately it’s rare for a doctor to admit that more surgery, more treatment, is a bad idea as they are trained to heal. But this doesn’t sound like healing, it sounds like hurting and further confusing a lady with an already muddled mind. In your shoes I’d be asking about the best steps to keep her pain free and comfortable, likely using hospice. I wish you and mom much peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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My uncle died of a bowel obstruction a couple of years ago because surgery was not an option at his age.

My view is that an elder who's suffering from advanced dementia should have no life extending surgeries anyway. Death is the only relief they can get from their suffering, and I used to pray for God to take my mother out of her misery for a year or two when she lived in Memory Care.

I'm sorry you're going through this and wish you good luck and Godspeed with a difficult situation.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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