I'm currently assisting with "keeping an eye" on my boyfriend of 4 years mother with dementia . Initially 3 years ago , I came up here to help out and I was getting paid 200 week for helping with his mom and then his dad was an additional 100 week so 300 dollars a week . Up until I became handicapped myself it's been since June 2024 that I was consistently being paid what I was . Truth is I'm not able to walk without a cane now . However since I'm still living here with my boyfriend I'm still on the hook here with his dementia riddled mother . To be honest it's even more demanding on me because it's more difficult for me to get around and her needs haven't changed if anything she's more needier. The sister used to pay me . Now she pays some one else 45 dollars an hr to come here 3 times a week 2 hrs a day to do the same thing im still doing free ! They have said that this person takes the mom to get her hair and bsils done and that's why I can't do what she does ??? It's not every time this person is here that she's going to the spa! I've opened myself up and vulnerable told the family that I'm burnt out and I need to get paid as well it's not fair to keep ignoring my requests and not do a thing I ask ..what can I do ? Obviously if I had money to go elsewhere or had elsewhere to go I would . What are my rights?
This all falls on you. Go to Social Services First. See how they can help with resources. Tell them u will need a place to live. Then try your County Disabilities Dept.
How did you handle the money you were receiving -- did you file taxes as an independent contractor, or did the sister pay the taxes for you as an employee, or did no one pay taxes? Was there a legal contract signed between you and anyone? Did the sister use her money or her mother's money to pay you?
Are you currently receiving any government benefits, such as Medicaid or SNAP?
Why hasn't your boyfriend stood up for you with his family?
So today, stop helping with his mother. Your boyfriend can do the work for free that you were doing. If he has a job, he can take family medical leave if necessary. Go to your local women's shelter and ask for help. Tell them you need to leave an exploitative domestic situation. They can guide you on getting onto low-income housing lists, SNAP, Medicaid, etc., plus help you find a job.
Or if you already are receiving benefits, go back to the social worker or office that helped you originally, since they will have your files and information. Also start looking on your own for employment.
What kind of work did you do before moving in with your boyfriend to help his mother? Where did you live then? Is it possible to go back to whatever situation and employment you previously had? Do you have family or friends you could stay with temporarily?
I know it must be a helpless feeling right now. But people can and do climb out of these situations, and you can too. Don't let this uncaring family exploit you any longer. You deserve so much better. It will take some time and effort but you can do it. Keep us posted.
Where is your "boyfriend" in all of this? Is he in the residence too? Why isn't he paying you? He is possibly a jerk and why are you investing your life with him?
I think you go to social services and apply for Section 8 housing and then look for a job -- any job -- to start making your own income. You inform the family that out of necessity you won't be able to care for the Mom for financial reasons. They will be angry but so what? YOU'RE the one who should be angry. They can only take advantage of you if you allow it. Wake up and see they are using you, with your BF being the primary offender.
Time to take care of your own self. He isn't doing it and probably isn't ever going to do it. Don't give him one more minute of your life. Spend as much time outside the residence so they can't ask or expect you to do anything. Their Mother's care is their problem to solve. You need to take care of you.