My care giver says hello and how are you when she comes in and good bye when she leaves. She is attentive when my wife gets out of her chair and walks around the apartment, like she doesn't want her to get into mischief. The caregiver made an effort to help with a shower today.
This is good, but shouldn't there be some attempt at a conversation? We know what a conversation looks like, we just want a conversation. We have friends who come in and they talk to my wife. They don't expect to actually get many, if any coherent statements. They consider it a blessing when my wife has a lucid moment. That does not keep the ladies from talking. That seems like the only way to establish a bond of trust.
Caregivers all have their own personalities. This one maybe hasn't dealt with dementia patients enough to have good experience, and she is uncomfortable with just how to interact. I sense she's probably young - or if a mature woman, maybe she's just lazy and hoping to do the bare minimum.
Try out a different caregiver. If you are hiring through a home care agency, then let them know what your ideal caregiver would look like. They may be able to match you up with someone better suited to your wife's needs.
I have looked for a caregiver for my husband who will talk to him just like his friends do. They trade insults and jokes and make him just laugh and laugh.
But, I find outsiders, who don't know the man inside the broken brain, don't understand how to talk to him.
My last caregiver was a lazy woman who would hide out in the walk in closet to text and scroll through her phone. She did the bare minimum, and sat on her behind unless I asked her to do something specific.
The First caregiver we had was wonderful! She was near retirement age, energetic, caring, and loved to clean! Then, we moved to another state. :(
You can keep looking for someone who is a better fit.
To watch your wife for wandering or falling?
To make sure your wife eats and drinks?
Make sure she gets regular shower?
Help with toileting?
Help with dressing?
Are you there the entire time the Caregiver is, or do you use the spare time to go get groceries, banking, etc.?
There are several professional Caregivers here who could give better answers.
I would also suggest having the caregiver play some of your wife's favorite music and sing along with her, as music is powerful with folks that have any of the dementias, and most even those that are non-verbal will sing every word to the songs, as music comes from a different part of the brain than what the dementia has damaged.