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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Do doctors contact DMV when they diagnose a patient with dementia? At what stage do they do so? Are there reasons why being diagnosed with dementia isn't beneficial?
No, this is not a doctor's job. A doctor can make a diagnosis and make recommendations to patients but they don't make decisions for them.
I've been involved with ending driving for 4 senior family members. The first was my SFIL, who was in deep denial of his Parkinsons and loss of abilities. We were working with social services because SFIL and my MIL were getting services in their home. I told the social worker about SFIL falling regularly in the parking lot of our local grocery store and the manager having to drive him back home. The social worker arranged an "intervention" with him and other family and told him he shouldn't be driving anymore. He took it like the selfish toddler he always was but we removed the car from him and sold it since they needed the money anyway.
Then MIL was having memory impairment and fender benders so we also removed her van. That was that.
My elderly Aunt with dementia and triple vision was having fender benders so I reported her anonymously to the FL DMV and they wrote her a letter telling her to come in person to retake the eye test, which she failed. Her license expired and we arranged for her family caregiver to give her rides.
Recently my own Mom (then 95) was forced to stop driving because I got her in to her primary doctor thanks to sending this doc a message through my Mom's medical portal, outlining my concerns about cognitive impairment. Her doc wrote an order for her to have a virtual driving assessment through the OT department. This involved a 30 question MoCA written test and an physical coordination/reaction test, both of which she failed by a lot. The OT is the one who told her the results would be reported to the primary doc, who is a mandated reporter. And she was reported to the Dept of Public Safety who then sent out a letter cancelling her license. My Mom defiantly kept driving for a little while afterwards, then hid the keys (and we never found them) then hid the title (never found it). Nonetheless was still able to find a second set of keys and get a dupe title in order to sell her car because I am her DPoA.
Good luck, and don't be shy about ending driving for a dangerous elder. My Uncle should have been stopped and wasn't. He went through a red light at a busy intersection and was t-boned on the passenger side, killing my Aunt, his wife, a 2-time cancer survivor. Luckily the other driver wasn't seriously injured.
"Are there reasons why being diagnosed with dementia isn't beneficial?"
My 88 year old FIL was very confused one day. He went out to get in his car...only it wasn't his car. Even though it had damage that his car did not and had a baby seat in the rear, he still insisted that it was his car and someone had hit it. So, he called the police.
They showed up and realized that he was very confused. They called my SIL and the police took him to the hospital. Long story short, they did a battery of tests and referred him to a neurologist. The neurologist dx'd him with early Parkinson's and the beginnings of dementia. She said he could no longer live alone and he has been with us for the past 14 months. She also sent a letter to the DMV and he had to surrender his license to drive. He used to drone on and on about getting it back, but gradually forgot about it. He's on hospice now (end stage cancer).
I would not count on a doctor alerting the DMV. I was present when my FIL was told that his eyesight was not correctable even with glasses to meet the driving requirements. He immediately asked her NOT to report it. She told him it had already been reported.
At no point did he ever receive any notification that his license was now revoked or that he needed to come in for an eye test or literally ANY notification. According to the system of record his license was in active.
The only positive about COVID for us was that he was sequestered at home for long enough that I think he started to get nervous about driving. He would never admit that. By the time things opened enough for someone with his comorbidities to travel freely, he was back to insisting he could drive.
Our reprieve was over. We finally had to step up and tell him that he was no longer going to be driving. That between his eyesight, his tremors and his lack of good judgment we were not able to in good conscience let him drive. He didn't like that. But I think deep down he was still so worried that he might embarrass himself driving that he figured it was easier to blame us.
We also took every precaution to put his keys where he couldn't get to them to avoid any rogue eloping!
For the record, we did the same basic thing - he had a conceal carry (I do NOT know how...the man had tremors for years and could not safely manage a firearm, but HE did all of that on his own and they gave it to him so yeah). We moved his firearms to somewhere in his home that he could not access due to his mobility, put the ammunition somewhere else he couldn't access and told him it was no longer safe. I called the Sheriff and asked them what we could do, and as long as he was competent we couldn't do a thing. So our best option was to leave them in the home but where he couldn't access them. He eventually forgot about them. Had he called the police and reported us for removing them from the home - we didn't. And if he said we stole them, they were still in his home.
Sometimes you have to get creative because ultimately help is rare in those instances.
In MN, you simply fill out a confidential, one-page form available at the DMV website to alert the state of a concern about an individual's driving capabilities. We did this for both of my in-laws, and they received a letter with an appointed time to meet with someone at the DMV. Another family member accompanied them and they both voluntarily surrendered their DLs after some back and forth -- the other option was to take a new driving test. They went through the process of getting state ID cards right then, before leaving the DMV.
Hopefully other states have a similar setup: simple, helpful, and takes most of the responsibility off of the family and places it (appropriately) with the agency responsible for licensing oversight.
(Also did something similar to what others here mentioned, by blocking the one car my MIL drove between the garage and a larger truck so she couldn't access it after my FIL agreed to stop driving on his own but she wouldn't -- that's when we got the state involved.)
In my case the doctors didn't do anything after the memory tests. I care for 2 family members with cognitive decline. I took my sister's license and refused to renew for my mum when hers expired. Be prepared to make some tough choices.
Have the car towed , take away the keys . It is very dangerous . Especially if they get on the highway or their Battery goes Dead in a Parking lot and they can't Make a phone call .
Many years ago, my dad, 92, simply had his car towed away.
He told me that he got into an accident, but he couldn’t remember any of the other details. But somehow he still knew he should not be driving at that point.
Was he hurt? Did he hurt anyone? I’ll never know.
My mom watched the car being taken away, and she cried her heart out.
It is up to the family to make this decision, at least where we live.
We took my aunt to the doctor/neurologist. We showed him pictures of the condition of her home. He saw she was immobile. He asked her to draw a clock of the time he asked. She was unable. He called out three simple words and asked her to repeat them. She was unable. Within a few weeks, her neighbor and my cousin told me she got a letter from the DMV that her driver's license had been revoked. I'm pretty sure all it takes is a trip to the doctor's office.
The eye doctor is the one that contacted the DMV to let them know my mom could not see well enough to drive. The DMV revoked her license and told her about via a formal letter. She went back to the DMV and apparently there was no note on her file and they gave her another license. She was picked up by the police and finally she gave up driving.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I've been involved with ending driving for 4 senior family members. The first was my SFIL, who was in deep denial of his Parkinsons and loss of abilities. We were working with social services because SFIL and my MIL were getting services in their home. I told the social worker about SFIL falling regularly in the parking lot of our local grocery store and the manager having to drive him back home. The social worker arranged an "intervention" with him and other family and told him he shouldn't be driving anymore. He took it like the selfish toddler he always was but we removed the car from him and sold it since they needed the money anyway.
Then MIL was having memory impairment and fender benders so we also removed her van. That was that.
My elderly Aunt with dementia and triple vision was having fender benders so I reported her anonymously to the FL DMV and they wrote her a letter telling her to come in person to retake the eye test, which she failed. Her license expired and we arranged for her family caregiver to give her rides.
Recently my own Mom (then 95) was forced to stop driving because I got her in to her primary doctor thanks to sending this doc a message through my Mom's medical portal, outlining my concerns about cognitive impairment. Her doc wrote an order for her to have a virtual driving assessment through the OT department. This involved a 30 question MoCA written test and an physical coordination/reaction test, both of which she failed by a lot. The OT is the one who told her the results would be reported to the primary doc, who is a mandated reporter. And she was reported to the Dept of Public Safety who then sent out a letter cancelling her license. My Mom defiantly kept driving for a little while afterwards, then hid the keys (and we never found them) then hid the title (never found it). Nonetheless was still able to find a second set of keys and get a dupe title in order to sell her car because I am her DPoA.
Good luck, and don't be shy about ending driving for a dangerous elder. My Uncle should have been stopped and wasn't. He went through a red light at a busy intersection and was t-boned on the passenger side, killing my Aunt, his wife, a 2-time cancer survivor. Luckily the other driver wasn't seriously injured.
"Are there reasons why being diagnosed with dementia isn't beneficial?"
Not sure what you mean by this... please clarify.
They showed up and realized that he was very confused. They called my SIL and the police took him to the hospital. Long story short, they did a battery of tests and referred him to a neurologist. The neurologist dx'd him with early Parkinson's and the beginnings of dementia. She said he could no longer live alone and he has been with us for the past 14 months. She also sent a letter to the DMV and he had to surrender his license to drive. He used to drone on and on about getting it back, but gradually forgot about it. He's on hospice now (end stage cancer).
At no point did he ever receive any notification that his license was now revoked or that he needed to come in for an eye test or literally ANY notification. According to the system of record his license was in active.
The only positive about COVID for us was that he was sequestered at home for long enough that I think he started to get nervous about driving. He would never admit that. By the time things opened enough for someone with his comorbidities to travel freely, he was back to insisting he could drive.
Our reprieve was over. We finally had to step up and tell him that he was no longer going to be driving. That between his eyesight, his tremors and his lack of good judgment we were not able to in good conscience let him drive. He didn't like that. But I think deep down he was still so worried that he might embarrass himself driving that he figured it was easier to blame us.
We also took every precaution to put his keys where he couldn't get to them to avoid any rogue eloping!
For the record, we did the same basic thing - he had a conceal carry (I do NOT know how...the man had tremors for years and could not safely manage a firearm, but HE did all of that on his own and they gave it to him so yeah). We moved his firearms to somewhere in his home that he could not access due to his mobility, put the ammunition somewhere else he couldn't access and told him it was no longer safe. I called the Sheriff and asked them what we could do, and as long as he was competent we couldn't do a thing. So our best option was to leave them in the home but where he couldn't access them. He eventually forgot about them. Had he called the police and reported us for removing them from the home - we didn't. And if he said we stole them, they were still in his home.
Sometimes you have to get creative because ultimately help is rare in those instances.
In MN, you simply fill out a confidential, one-page form available at the DMV website to alert the state of a concern about an individual's driving capabilities. We did this for both of my in-laws, and they received a letter with an appointed time to meet with someone at the DMV. Another family member accompanied them and they both voluntarily surrendered their DLs after some back and forth -- the other option was to take a new driving test. They went through the process of getting state ID cards right then, before leaving the DMV.
Hopefully other states have a similar setup: simple, helpful, and takes most of the responsibility off of the family and places it (appropriately) with the agency responsible for licensing oversight.
(Also did something similar to what others here mentioned, by blocking the one car my MIL drove between the garage and a larger truck so she couldn't access it after my FIL agreed to stop driving on his own but she wouldn't -- that's when we got the state involved.)
He told me that he got into an accident, but he couldn’t remember any of the other details. But somehow he still knew he should not be driving at that point.
Was he hurt? Did he hurt anyone? I’ll never know.
My mom watched the car being taken away, and she cried her heart out.
It is up to the family to make this decision, at least where we live.
Within a few weeks, her neighbor and my cousin told me she got a letter from the DMV that her driver's license had been revoked. I'm pretty sure all it takes is a trip to the doctor's office.
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