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She is in a memory care facility, but has developed agitation, aggression, and incontinence. She has no interest in using utensils at mealtime and often eats with her fingers. She has been checked for a UTI.

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A medication to help calm the agitation and aggression would be a big help. Talk with her doctor to determine if hospice services might be appropriate, but having used hospice, I’d caution you not to overestimate their help. Hospice is wonderful for providing supplies, advice, and good medications for comfort as end of life is approaching. They are not good for hands on caregiving.
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RedVanAnnie May 1, 2025
Good point that many people misunderstand Hospice and expect it to take over day-to-day caretaking. It definitely does not.
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We recently had an interview with hospice care in Arizona. We were informed that in order to qualify for hospice based on an Alzheimer's/Dementia diagnosis that our Dad had to be non-verbal for a 24-hour period and incapable of walking. Our Dad has been in Memory Care for 14 months and he in NO WAY meets those standards. However, our Dad also has heart failure, and based on that diagnosis, he DID qualify for hospice care and it has been very helpful to my sister and I to have more people checking on him and providing the care/supplies he needs at this point in his life.
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Hospice is end of life care.
A physician in care of Mom must attest to the Federal Government (who pays for Hospice) that your mom has in their professional opinion fewer than 6 months to live.

Having dementia and undiagnosed problems doesn't qualify someone for hospice.
Do speak with her MD.
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Very sorry for your sad journey. Your mom needs to be diagnosed with a terminal condition approved by both the doctor and hospice care. My mom had dementia, but was approved with Hypertensive Heart Disease. That qualified her for coverage through Medicare.
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You have to speak with her Doctor . They can advise .
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Her Demntia alone does not qualify her for Hospice. Hospice can be considered when her doctors determine she is nearing the end of her life.
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My experience is to be eligible for hospice you need to score at 7a or above on the FAST Scale. https://www.compassus.com/healthcare-professionals/determining-eligibility/functional-assessment-staging-tool-fast-scale-for-dementia/
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As said, having Dementia ismot a reason for Hospice. The agitation can be taken care of with Medication. Needing to be sppon fed can be done by the aide. None of these things needs Hospice. Their staff does not feed the client. In a home setting with Hospice the family takes care of the patient. In Memory care, the aides feed the resident.

Hospicebis endnof life care. With my Mom, she could no longer swallow and her body was shutting down. For herbit was comfort care till she passed.
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My Mom was using her fingers to eat food, and sometimes missed her mouth. She had a hard time swallowing and she could no longer take pills. In fact, the day before I called hospice, she had another UTI, however, refused to allow anyone to collect urine. She was running a fever and was in pain since she couldn't swallow nor want to swallow her pain meds.

When I called hospice, they were able to "give" her some antibiotics and pain meds via suppository to get the fever down. However, she still would not eat or drink because she didn't know how. She was hungry, however her tongue would push the food back out. Regarding pain, it was still there and they upped the dose until she was at least able to sleep. She died about 2 weeks later.

It was agonizing to watch as I didn't know how to make her feel more comfortable. No matter what I gave her, her tongue pushed it out or she didn't like the taste of the food or the liquid. She kept on trying to get up, however, was too dizzy to do so.

Those last weeks before death were really torturous, for both her and I. Thank goodness it only lasted 2 weeks.
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Hospice has government guidelines by which they must follow before they can sign someone up.

We self referred (twice) to our local hospice. An RN came out and made the determination of whether Mom qualified. This was approved by the hospice MD back at the office.
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