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I am an independent in-home caregiver for 96 yr old male hospice client. The wife lives in the home but also has a separate caregiver for a few hours a day. She has started yelling and hitting him in the arm when she comes to sit next to him and he falls asleep. He sleeps 18-20 hours a day. She actually punched him and called him a negative name. I understand frustration but hitting is an absolute NO in this profession. The other caregivers on my team told me to mind my own business! I reported it to hospice. What now?

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Never ever tolerate elder abuse.
Report to Adult Protective Services immediately.
It is not only the right course of action, it is your responsibility to be an advocate for the welfare of your client. This is 110% unacceptable behavior.

This caregiver needs to be reported and she may be charged with assault and battery. Do not let this go.

Gena, Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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AlvaDeer Dec 27, 2025
Touch, there is an update below. This situation was reported at this point.
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Tanti65: You did the right thing by reporting it.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Aren't the other caregivers on your team *mandated reporters*? Are they aware of this? I would never want them as caregivers...
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Reply to Geaton777
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You reported it. You did the right thing. It is now for Social Workers on Hospice, and their team, to investigate what to do about the wife. You should photograph any bruising and that should accompany your report. If you feel that this "hitting" is truly "hitting" you can report this to APS as a mandated reporter. The wife should be told she is not allowed to hit her husband, of course, and should be informed that she will be reported to APS if she does so, and may be prevented from visiting. It would be the Social Workers who would do this. From what you are telling us here, this isn't anger, but is the wife attempting to keep her husband awake, to visit with her, and not to be sleeping all the time. It may be a she has some dementia, and isn't realizing what she is doing. Nevertheless, a fragile bedbound patient can't be battered at, no matter what the reason.

It is of concern that other caregivers are not seeing what you are seeing? I think that your agency and you caregivers should conference to get an idea from your leaders on team what is and what isn't OK.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Tanti65 Dec 17, 2025
Thank you for your response. Hospice is handling the situation. Cameras were installed in the home and the abuse has been recorded. Way more then I was seeing. I resigned from the care team.
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If it was a man hitting a woman would they still say it's none of your business?
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Reply to cwillie
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Tanti65 Dec 17, 2025
That's what I asked.
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ANY type of abuse is reportable.
Physical abuse
Verbal abuse
Mental/psychological abuse
All reportable.
If you are in this profession you are a MANDATED reporter of ANY abuse
Report the abuse that you have seen and heard. document the abuse that you have seen and heard.
Reporting it to Hospice is the right thing to do.
Let them take it from this point.
They may be working on getting the patient into an In Patient Unit or facility they are working with so that he is safe and she gets respite.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Tanti65 Dec 17, 2025
The cameras caught the abuse. Hospice is handling the situation. I resigned from my position as part of his care team.
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