My mother has been with me for 7 years and now she said she cannot stay with me anymore, because she thinks my husband wants to kill her ,she didn't say she hearing voices ,just wake up in the morning and ask my husband why are you disturbing me at night please leave me alone . and says my husband spray something in her food that is why she had serious stomach pain, that he spray in her bed ,shoes , cloths. that when she put on the cloths her body icheses sometimes she ask me to try the clothe on ,so I can believe what she is saying I know something is wrong but what I really want to help her ,she left my place and when back to Africa ,I was told she lose more weight and cannot hear very well. insisting that she saw my husband spraying on her .she saw a watch by her bed and said my husband put a knife to kill her,since she donot want to come to my place I am thinking of how to convince her so she can come see her doctor. I told her we are sorry my husband is not going to spray anymore she told the did had been do because she is very sick now. She said the spay is very powerful that the doctors cannot noticed she is so convinced that husband is responsible for all her sick ,she stay indoors most of the time even in after she is always indoors.
I agree, too, that it's worth checking that she isn't allergic or sensitive to things like laundry detergent, air fresheners and so on; but I wouldn't be too quick to interrogate my husband purely on the basis of what's been described.
I would be concerned about her care in Africa as there can be little understanding or treatment available. Her symptoms of stomach pain and skin itching could be symptoms of liver or kidney disease.
She just really needs a very complete medical work up.I think that without this we are all just guessing, as she gets increasing ill. Maybe if you just acknowledge her concerns about being poisoned ( "Yes I know you are worried about that." Or "Those thoughts sound scary".) and then focus on her pain and itching as a reason to see the doctor she would be more likely to go to the doctor.
You are a loving daughter, and I hope you can get the help you need for your Mom. I hope this is helpful.
If she hasn't had a hearing test, or if she has a known hearing loss and does not wear hearing aids, this is an important step in figuring out the issue. Untreated hearing loss could be the root cause of these symptoms and significantly increases the risks of developing dementia, and can make existing mental issues worse faster. Hearing loss can also mimic many of the symptoms of dementia/alzheimers, so any time a dementia issue is suspected, one of the first steps should be to have a thorough hearing examination. Treating a hearing loss is significantly easier and less costly than treating dementia.
Now, my mother had good old fashioned Lewy Body dementia which accounted for her delusions. She was seen by a neurologist, of course, and that is what he diagnosed. It came on about 2 years earlier, she called and said her grandson was there visiting, just before a holiday. I thought it was odd he was in town and didn't let anyone know, but it was possible he decided to fly in....then she called again and said her grandson just 'left without saying goodbye or anything'. Just disappeared. There one minute, gone the next. And so I thought, oh-oh.....A couple of years later, there were 'people in the house' and all kinds of 'visitors' and my brother 'had a home office right there in her house' - he could only go in through the fireplace, but he was behind that wall working away, typing and sending faxes. My father was 'sneaking in and out of the house at night and taking food out of the refrigerator' but refused to talk to her! Oy!
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