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He's 70 and I'm 64. I am the caregiver which I don't mind. My dad's an easy going guy who is a pleasure to care for.
My brother does nothing here. He comes and goes as he pleases. I sleep on the couch and don't have a place for my clothing. Have asked brother to trade places a few nights to let me sleep in the available bed. He refuses.
I've tried to involve him with dad and no go. Dad will not talk to him or evict him. What is brother up to?

"What is brother up to?" You are the only person able to answer that question.

Those of us who have been in the caregiving game for a while would tell you to find and defend personal boundaries so that your Dad's care doesn't replace you having a life of your own. He won't live forever and when he's gone you may have trouble "finding yourself", as I have read on other people's posts.

If your Dad has all his mind then he gets to call the shots in his own house. It's not uncommon for a parent to suffer the moocher adult child.

It would help you to stop expecting your brother to participate because he gets to choose what he does, as infuriating as that feels to you. You are choosing to devote yourself to caregiving. Your brother has made a different choice and your Dad is blatantly dissing you by allowing him to be a looser loafer.

Maybe all the doors to the house need to be "rekeyed" because the main one got "lost". Maybe this would prevent said brother from waltzing in and out too easily. But maybe not. Your Dad won't need to know the locks were changed ("It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission").

Why are you sleeping on the couch? Does your Dad's house not even have a bedroom for you to use? If there's something else in a second bedroom I would clear it out and make it a respectable place for you to sleep. Do you not have a place of your own? If so, why are you sleeping at your Dad's house?

If your Dad doesn't have a PoA then you should download the forms and get him to put this important legal protection in place. He should also have a Advance Healthcare Directive, a DNR and a Last Will. If you are the caregiver then you are the obvious choice as his durable PoA. Once this is in place THEN you can legally block your brother if he's doing anything nefarious.

More info for the context of your situation would be helpful.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Geaton777
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He is a freeloader. When he’s out, move into the bedroom, and put a lock on the door so that he can’t displace you.

Do you have your dad’s POA, and/or do you handle your dad’s finances? If so, you should lock up all of that. Monitor all of the finances to make sure he is not taking advantage, or worse.
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Reply to MG8522
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Ho much does dad understand? If he is unable to understand the situation, you may have more say so over who lives in the house. Otherwise it's time to come to terms with your deadbeat brother.
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Reply to JustAnon
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