She needs to be seen to be able to get help with the excruciating pain when she does try to move. How do we convince her to get an in home visit? She knows she has other issues and they would suggest hospital treatment. She refuses to be put in hospital or home. Wants to die in her house in her chair. Has a sharp mind and is usually in a good mood as long as she can stay put in her chair. She gets up 2 times a day for the bathroom. Each time is a 2 hour painful ordeal. Any suggestions welcome. Thank you
Does she have a walker or wheelchair? Or how does she get to the bathroom and bed?
I would think she would be a major fall risk? If she loses any more mobility, what is her plan? Depends and never leaving the chair?
If she refuses to see a doctor, I assume the only painkillers she can get are over the counter. I like the palliative care suggestion.
My mom uses a walker and is not quite as bad but heading in that direction. Sh also refuses all medical attention. I asked her the other day if she would go to the ER for a broken bone and she said, “it depends on which bone.” She said she would agree to go if she were gushing blood, needed antibiotics, or was in excruciating pain.
Best of luck to you.
My aunt is the same way. You cannot convince her of anything and she says she's going to die at home.
I asked her what if that really happens. What if she falls and no one can get to her and she succumbs? She said at least she's in her home and will not have it any other way.
She refuses doctor visits or any care. I did my best but like Daughter mentioned so wisely, "you cannot convince an unreasonable person of anything. You have the choice to meet her demands, wearing yourself out and risking injury to you both, or leave her to it alone, letting whatever happen, or calling APS and reporting her situation".
Put yourself first. Sometimes there's nothing more you can do.
Who is doing all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc? If it’s you, stop enabling this farcical fantasy. She shouldn’t be living alone, and her twice-a-day bathroom junkets could result in her falling and dying on the floor, not in her beloved chair. That’s so terribly sad.
Intervention is necessary. I wish you luck in bringing about a more sane approach to her end-of-life plan. You have received some good advice here, so hop to it. I’m very sorry this is happening.