Follow
Share

Hello. I have quite a bit of anxiety over this situation should it ever arise: I am my 95 year old Mother's only caregiver. I am able to give her care 24/7 and I am not looking for any daily help or any time off. I like to prepare for emergencies well before they occur but I am unable to get an answer or a solution to my potential problem. The "what if" scenario which worries me is if I have a medical emergency for myself. What if I need to be hospitalized immediately and am taken to the hospital. What would become of my Mother? I have nobody to call for helping to care for her, and I mean absolutely nobody. I don't even have someone that could care for her very temporarily while they were finding her a place to go until my return.I certainly cannot be the only one in this situation. I have talked to Social Workers and different respite providers but am unable to get a solution to this possible, very real emergency situation that could arise. I would be very grateful for any suggestions. Thank you and take care.

Find Care & Housing
Visiting Angels (and I'm sure other caregiver services) will create an account for you even if the need isn't immediate. Then when your event happens, you call them and they send someone, continuing to send helpers as long as needed.

I had them for my husband, who has dementia. They helped us when I had to leave home to go to the doctor and when I was looking for a good facility for him. They always sent someone who was compatible with DH's interests and could do things with him and for him.

When my husband went into facility care, I created my own account with them. They sent a representative to the house, interviewed me, I signed paperwork, and now if I get sick or am injured, I can call and get a sitter, CNA, someone to drive me, stay with me in the hospital and so on.

I'd suggest that you get such help now and use their caregivers for a few hours at a time here and there so mom can get used to them. Then when you do need emergency care for her because you are in the hospital, getting cataract surgery, or taking a vacation, whatever, it will all be set up and just a phone call away for both you and mom.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Fawnby
Report
KNance72 Sep 12, 2025
Great idea I had Heard of visiting Angels .
(1)
Report
Contact your Local senior center and ask for advice and Possible Volunteers, get in touch with your Local elder services . Place ad on Next Door.com for a Possible sitter and do some Interviews. College kids would be happy to help out . I had a similar situation my Dad and I both got covid at the same time. His Only Lasted a couple days. I was sick for several weeks and couldn't eat , went to the Local health clinic, I couldn't breath My Lungs were tight and they wanted to send me to the ER and I said " No I have to go home and take care of my Father . " So these situations do arise .
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to KNance72
Report

I’m glad you are thinking about this because I ended up in the hospital 3 times last month out of the blue and now I’m in heart failure. Mid 50s.

I hope you find a solution.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Bulldog54321
Report

The only time I know that respite care is provided by Medicare is when on Hospice. Supplimentals usually only pay the balance on what Medicare has already paid 80% of. Medicare Advantages have their own rules.

I am a Trustee for a Special Needs Trust. It was set up because my nephew received money from his Moms insurance policy. For him to get services, he is disabled, the Trust was set up. When he passes, the money left will go to Medicaid. These Trusts are limited in how they can be used.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Through her insurance, see if she qualifies for respite care. Ensure you have a plan and a designated location in mind for her to go in case of an emergency. And talk to the facility social worker to see how to go about doing things
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to TakishaJ
Report

I understand you’re not looking for help now and are doing a good job caring for mom. After reading the answers thus far and agreeing with the likelihood of mom being moved to a hospital, followed by nursing home placement in the event of you being unavailable, please consider kindness to mom and get her used to a helper now that’s not you. It’s hard to imagine her level of confusion and upset at such a turn of events after so long of it only being you doing it all. It’s wise of you to think of the possible scenario, part of that might need to be a change now. She’s blessed to have you, I wish you both peace
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

In your wallet, keep a card with "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" and then the essential details such as your mother's name, address, age, and any essential details such as dementia, diabetic, medications, etc. The first responders or hospital staff will look there for medical info and emergency contacts for you, so keep it there for them to find.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to MG8522
Report
KNance72 Sep 12, 2025
Great Idea and she should have his contact info as well in her Purse .
(0)
Report
If you are in an emergency situation and you have to be taken to the hospital the Paramedics would arrange transport for mom and at the hospital the Social Workers would work to arrange care for mom. It would probably mean placing her in a facility for what would be considered Respite Care.
If you are unable to communicate they would have a judge order temporary Guardianship by a Court Appointed Guardian. None of this would be the "best case" for mom it would be "emergency case"
You would probably be best if you could get a caregiver that would come and give you a break a few days a week. that way you have mom with a company that could be contacted for care that could be done at home rather than a facility.

You should talk to your attorney to arrange a "Special Needs Trust" that would care for mom if you are unable to. The Trust would kick in and potentially avoid some delays in care.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter