Hello forum, I am reaching out because I am trying to research support and services for help when it comes time to clean out my mother's home. My mother is still alive, to be clear, and she still lives at her home. She has been emotionally abusive to me my entire life, and I have had to go periods of no contact with her. I am an only child, so I have no siblings to help with what happens when she passes. She lives in a house beyond her means, and she has a TON of stuff. Some it is sentimental and important to me, but beyond that, I literally have panic attacks just thinking about dealing with her house and her physical stuff after she dies. I am looking for suggestions on services, providers, etc. who are focused on helping bereaved adult children deal with their deceased parents homes. Is there a name for that? I have been too traumatized by our relationship over the years to face this by myself, and I can only ask my friends for so much help in this context. I feel like I need a professional to help me with this, because I know I will be completely and totally overwhelmed. I have a therapist, so I am not looking for therapy referrals or anything -- I am literally looking for someone who does the actual sorting, storing, reducing, cleaning, etc. of an existing estate, and in a way that is supportive to those grieving. Thanks in advance!
They will set aside personal things you request as they find them (paperwork, photos). They did everything, sorted through separating what could be sold from trash, organized and held the estate sale, and donated or discarded what was left. When they were done we had an empty house ready to be cleaned and a small check.
When my personality disordered mom finally leaves either this earth or her home I won’t even step foot back in there until I have had an estate company do their thing.
when the time comes the help of a company that does Estate Sales would be what you would want.
They organize everything and manage the sale. You do pay a hefty % for this though. Much easier than a garage sale if you ask me. I did one, and never again!!!
Some weekend drive around your community, look for the signs indicating there is an Estate Sale. Stop and wander through and see how they operate, talk to those manning the desk and ask for business cards.
I know when my MIL goes, I’m getting a dumpster delivered to the driveway and 95% of her stuff is going on the trash straight away.
We always told Mom we would just burn the house down.
My mom asked me if I wanted her house when she died or anything out of it. I made the mistake of telling her I would like the pictures and I didn't get 1 from our family, 40# of pictures. She sent me ALL of her husband's family and their life together, not a single photo existed from my childhood. I truly wish I wouldn't have given her the opportunity to try and hurt my heart again. It was her favorite thing in the world to try and destroy me, to bad she couldn't see what could have been if she would put her sword down with me.
I am telling you this so you can be prepared in the event your mom erased your memory from everything in her house. I am proof it happens. The crazy thing is we spoke regularly but, she hated me having strong boundaries against her hate towards me.
I pray you are not further hurt by her and her actions.
You can hire an "Estate Sale" company, who will come in and sort items worth selling, and will donate or toss what doesn't sell.
Bottom line, you will simply hire an Estate service to handle this chore for you. I'd start looking for them now, so you won't fall apart when the time comes. Make a file with all your info, numbers, prices, etc. so you are prepared ahead of time!
Don't expect much money with the sales results.