My brother lives with my husband and myself. He's 66 has dementia and right side paralysis due to a TBI from 1979. He makes all his own decisions. He does not require a guardian and we want to keep it that way as long as possible. We have siblings in other states but no one close. Brother goes to VA for all medical care. He has no service connected disabilities. I am 68 and in good health but am looking ahead. If something were to happen to me there is no plan in place to help him or my husband with him. Hubby absolutely cannot take care of him. Brother requires 24 hour supervision and guidance. I am contacting AAA in a few days to once again inquire about a contingency plan. The VA told me yesterday that if all else fails, hubby could take him to an ER and refuse to take him back with him explaining that he can't provide the care brother needs. VA rep said hubby might have to be firm. It's a plan but not what I had in mind.
Can someone help me with how I can approach this conversation with AAA? Is there such a thing?
And I apologize if I have posed this question in the wrong category. If it needs to be moved, please do so.
Thank you all for your help.
Aid And Attendance?
Or, Area Agency on Aging?
Neither of those will be helpful.
Get him assessed for LTC by a doctor. Then I would find a good, local LTC facility that accepts Medicaid and get him in on private pay until he is a few months away from running out of all his money (except about $2k, but this varies by state). Then apply for Medicaid for him (you don't need to be his PoA or guardian). Once on Medicaid he will receive all the same care at the same facility.
If he already doesn't have the money then you may still be able to get him on a waiting list in a good quality facility. Look for faith-based ones (in my personal experience they give better care).
If you leave him in the ER he will most certainly go to a county-run Medicaid facility and they are mostly not good quality.
The VA has Medical Foster Homes.
they provide Private rooms
Home like setting
Supervised setting
There are specific requirements for the home and that may be why there are not a lot of them (one being the home needs to be within a 40 mile service radius of a HBPC (Home Based Primary Care) team
And more.
How this works is a family choses to open their home to a Veteran (or more than 1) and the VA checks and approves the home, checks and approves the family.
the Veteran pays the family. The cost would be less than a regular facility.
If you want more info
Medical Foster Home Program Coordinator
224-610-3784
John Zidek, LCSW
John.Zidek@va.gov
The other thing you should do is talk to an attorney and have a plan in place and someone that can be named in an event of an emergency on your part.
At what point will he need a Guardian?
With the TBI is he LEGALLY able to make decisions? By that I mean if an Attorney or anyone else talked to him would he be competent to answer questions (under pressure or in a stressful setting?)
Far better to get this done and not need it or need it and not have a plan in place.
As far as his "service connected disability" status...keep checking that, the VA is always adding conditions that may have excluded a condition in the past but is now included.
Thus, I think you might want to initiate moving your brother into some type of supported living situation, such as an assisted-living facility. Whether or not you do this, I think you should talk to a lawyer about getting some financial protections in place for your brother. That might involve setting up a trust for him, and you deciding whether you want to leave money or other assets to him when you die.