She lives alone in her own home with her cat. We clean her home, buy her groceries and make all her meals. She refuses in home hired aids by becoming combative and kicks them out. At my wits end. I'm at her house every day to give her a blood thinner 2x a day.
The next time she becomes violent, call 911 and have her sent to the ER for a psych evaluation and meds to calm her down. Speak with the social worker at the hospital about sending her straight to managed care or rehab afterward in a Skilled Nursing facility.
Best of luck to you.
If she is becoming increasingly aggressive, angry and violent, you won't be able to manage this on your own much longer. Yes, there are medications, but every person is different, so ask her doctor to prescribe something. Also worth having her tested for a UTI, since that will cause the kind of disturbing behavior you are seeing. That, too, can be treated with medication.
If it is becoming too difficult to get her out for medical appointments, ask her insurance provider if they are contracted with a Home visit, or House Calls doctor (or nurse practitioner) in your area who can come to her.
If you can get her calmed enough on medication to allow home aides to come in, she does not get to call the shots. You could simply REFUSE to come over to her house every day to cook and clean for her and manage her medications, etc...
She can either accept home health aides, or she can agree to move to a care facility. Caregiving Has to Work for the Caregiver! When it becomes too much for you, she needs to accept another solution. You can not be the only solution.
If left up to her, you will be run into the ground and become physically disabled yourself, while she lives many more years.
Yes, there are medications that can do wonders to control her anger and aggression. Does she already have a neurologist or other specialist? Has a doctor "officially" diagnosed her with a form of dementia or cognitive decline?
As lealonnie said below, next time she becomes combative you should call 911 and ask for her to be taken to the ER, then insist that she be admitted for a psych evaluation to get her anger, aggressiveness, and violence under control. Then tell the discharge planner social worker that she is unable to take care of herself at home and it would be unsafe to discharge her to her home. DO NOT agree to take her in or to continue providing care for her in her home. Break her cycle of depending on you for everything. Her own safety requires that she be in a place with 24/7 staffing.
Let us know how things go.