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She lives alone in her own home with her cat. We clean her home, buy her groceries and make all her meals. She refuses in home hired aids by becoming combative and kicks them out. At my wits end. I'm at her house every day to give her a blood thinner 2x a day.

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Whomever holds POA for mother can place her in Memory Care Assisted Living w/o her consent since she's unfit to live alone at this point in her dementia. Her home can be sold to finance the cost of care.

The next time she becomes violent, call 911 and have her sent to the ER for a psych evaluation and meds to calm her down. Speak with the social worker at the hospital about sending her straight to managed care or rehab afterward in a Skilled Nursing facility.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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lealonnie1 gave you some great advice. It's time to get your mom placed. We did the psych eval twice before we got my mom placed, but it's been such a blessing. They figured out what meds she needed to be on and she is much, much calmer now.
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Reply to JustAnon
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I think it would be very difficult to find a placement for someone who kicks caregivers, but an antidepressant might help her feel happier. It is common to put dementia patients on those when they become angry or aggressive -- something like Zoloft. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
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Reply to BabyGirl2
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Your chosen contact name is “Doing God’s Work”. Have another look at what that implies. It doesn’t mean that you have to keep her at home, tolerate ‘increasing anger and aggression’, and organise your life around visiting her twice a day.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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You handle it by having a doctor evaluate what the appropriate medication is to calm her extreme behaviors. Know that it’s often a trial and error process to find the right medication or combination that works. Please know that despite your visits the day may be soon she’s not safe there, if she wanders, accidentally sets a fire, gets scammed, lets in a stranger, falls, etc. the possibilities are endless. You might be doing God’s work, but God gives us others to help when it becomes too much to handle on our own. The person with dementia doesn’t get to refuse what’s best for her anymore, this is the time she’s depending on you to act in her best interests even when she can’t recognize that. Exhausting yourself and ruining your health won’t make you any good for her. You matter too. I wish you both peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Well, you can continue doing Gods Work, running over to mom's house every day, to clean and cook for her, manage her medication, and everything else you are doing (I'm sure there's more!) For as long as you are able and willing.

If she is becoming increasingly aggressive, angry and violent, you won't be able to manage this on your own much longer. Yes, there are medications, but every person is different, so ask her doctor to prescribe something. Also worth having her tested for a UTI, since that will cause the kind of disturbing behavior you are seeing. That, too, can be treated with medication.

If it is becoming too difficult to get her out for medical appointments, ask her insurance provider if they are contracted with a Home visit, or House Calls doctor (or nurse practitioner) in your area who can come to her.

If you can get her calmed enough on medication to allow home aides to come in, she does not get to call the shots. You could simply REFUSE to come over to her house every day to cook and clean for her and manage her medications, etc...
She can either accept home health aides, or she can agree to move to a care facility. Caregiving Has to Work for the Caregiver! When it becomes too much for you, she needs to accept another solution. You can not be the only solution.
If left up to her, you will be run into the ground and become physically disabled yourself, while she lives many more years.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Does anyone have her POA?

Yes, there are medications that can do wonders to control her anger and aggression. Does she already have a neurologist or other specialist? Has a doctor "officially" diagnosed her with a form of dementia or cognitive decline?

As lealonnie said below, next time she becomes combative you should call 911 and ask for her to be taken to the ER, then insist that she be admitted for a psych evaluation to get her anger, aggressiveness, and violence under control. Then tell the discharge planner social worker that she is unable to take care of herself at home and it would be unsafe to discharge her to her home. DO NOT agree to take her in or to continue providing care for her in her home. Break her cycle of depending on you for everything. Her own safety requires that she be in a place with 24/7 staffing.

Let us know how things go.
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Reply to MG8522
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One of the best things that happened to me when my mother was becoming aggressive from dementia was a doctor who prescribed medication that calmed her down. Everything changed. She became a bit more spacey and “out of it”but she was no longer aggressive and she became so much nicer and everyone was so relieved. I have no doubt that if I ever got dementia, I would prefer to be a bit silly and out of it instead of agitated and aggressive and paranoid/afraid. There are many medications that help with this. Everything got better after she found the right one for her and the right dose. In her case more was better. Good luck and keep trying.
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Reply to HollyZankman
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