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I work from home and have largely become her caretaker. I have two nights per week that I take time to meet with friends for a ballgame or karaoke. I am becoming increasingly nervous about leaving her by herself, and have looked for reasonable pricing to have someone stay with her for 4 hours on the nights I go out. It seems $25-$40 per hour is all I am finding. Does anyone have a service that they use that is more reasonable? Any suggestions are appreciated. Thank you.

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Sorry, that seems to be the average national rate for serious aids. You might be able to find an inexperienced and maybe less reliable person for less, but I wouldn't take that risk (and also you don't want to open up your house to just anyone -- they should be vetted/background checked).

I'm so sorry you two have to go on this journey... I hope you find this forum helpful.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Your wife should definitely not be left by herself for any length of time going forward as that is a catastrophe waiting to happen. I'm glad you're realizing that. Her brain is now permanently broken and if God forbid something bad were to happen she wouldn't have a clue as to what to do.
You can always ask family members or friends to come stay with her while you're out, and if that isn't an option then the $25-$40 per hour seems to be the going rate for such care.
And like Geaton said below you, you don't want to just let anyone in your home without first being vetted.
And if the cost is too much for you, you may have to give up one of your nights out, and perhaps even both of them for the time being until this journey with your wife is over.
Then you'll have as many nights as you want to do what you want.
Dementia sucks, but your wife needs you now and needs to be kept safe.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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PDW197 19 hours ago
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my question. Your answer covers everything I have thought of and what I have been doing. And you and Geaton have confirmed that the care that I need for her when I am not here has to be the right choice of people who are qualified and vetted.
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Living with a spouse with dementia changes your life. You may need to change your lifestyle expectations. Through no fault of her own, she has now become more dependent on you. Going out with friends a couple nights a week may no longer be feasible or reasonable, given her needs. Of course you need some time away, and it is reasonable to take a break from being full time caregiver. But there is a cost to that, and $25 to $40 per hour is what it costs to hire an in-home care provider. Think about it - would you do it for less?
Does she have any female friends who might like to come over for a Girl's Night In on your nights out? Is your wife still able to socialize with friends? If friends sense she needs care, trust me, they will be scared away. All our friends, who LOVED and respected my husband, made it clear they were uncomfortable being alone with him and providing hands on care. It's a huge responsibility. That's why professional caregivers cost so much.

Think about cutting back on your nights out. Limit it to one night a week.
Hiring someone for 4 hours so you can go out is just the beginning!
Your lifestyle will continue to change, as she requires more care. Things are going to get a lot worse - and this slow decline could continue for years.
It's time to think about your long term care plans. How much are you prepared to do on your own? She will need more caregivers, or possibly a memory care home would be more suitable for her.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Hi Geaton,

Thanks very much for your response and empathy. I know you are 100% correct in what you are saying, and this has been very helpful.
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Reply to PDW197
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Consider having the experienced, qualified caregivers you are paying for help her eat a light supper, wash the dishes and tidy the kitchen after wife’s dinner. Perhaps take her for a short walk outside down the driveway or on the sidewalk for a short distance. Then, get her ready for bed. Assist with toileting. Supervise wife taking a shower if possible and assisting with drying off and bed clothes. Or, assist her with face and hands washing, teeth cleaned and brushed, hair combed, peri care cleaned and dry, underwear changed put in clean bedclothes and bed ready with turn down and chux pads and bedside supplies like water and supplies restocked and ready, supervision of her taking her evening medication, lights turned down and watching some relaxing benign tv like baseball game or local news and weather and in bed by 9 pm. She’s in bed, clean and changed, meds given, kitchen cleaned and lights lowered, tv off when you walk in, perhaps a load of laundry started for you to finish, or finished a load of laundry you started and put it away, wife’s bathroom trash can emptied, and her bathroom tidied, the coffee or tea made ready for the morning, plates and cutlery set out and prepared for breakfast, pet walked and scooped and fed and watered. All you have to do is come home to a quiet, prepared home and take over from the caregiver. After 4 hours away. Wife is down for the evening. I know it’s not always like this, but this is what you could be paying for. Like someone has cared for you wife and You. It’s not too much to ask if you pay the prices you quoted.
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Reply to Beethoven13
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