I work from home and have largely become her caretaker. I have two nights per week that I take time to meet with friends for a ballgame or karaoke. I am becoming increasingly nervous about leaving her by herself, and have looked for reasonable pricing to have someone stay with her for 4 hours on the nights I go out. It seems $25-$40 per hour is all I am finding. Does anyone have a service that they use that is more reasonable? Any suggestions are appreciated. Thank you.
Does she have any female friends who might like to come over for a Girl's Night In on your nights out? Is your wife still able to socialize with friends? If friends sense she needs care, trust me, they will be scared away. All our friends, who LOVED and respected my husband, made it clear they were uncomfortable being alone with him and providing hands on care. It's a huge responsibility. That's why professional caregivers cost so much.
Think about cutting back on your nights out. Limit it to one night a week.
Hiring someone for 4 hours so you can go out is just the beginning!
Your lifestyle will continue to change, as she requires more care. Things are going to get a lot worse - and this slow decline could continue for years.
It's time to think about your long term care plans. How much are you prepared to do on your own? She will need more caregivers, or possibly a memory care home would be more suitable for her.
Thanks very much for your response and empathy. I know you are 100% correct in what you are saying, and this has been very helpful.
You can always ask family members or friends to come stay with her while you're out, and if that isn't an option then the $25-$40 per hour seems to be the going rate for such care.
And like Geaton said below you, you don't want to just let anyone in your home without first being vetted.
And if the cost is too much for you, you may have to give up one of your nights out, and perhaps even both of them for the time being until this journey with your wife is over.
Then you'll have as many nights as you want to do what you want.
Dementia sucks, but your wife needs you now and needs to be kept safe.
I'm so sorry you two have to go on this journey... I hope you find this forum helpful.