As we have done for the past 3 years, the family will continue to provide evening and some weekend care, so that the caregiver (CG) is not “on duty” 24 hours a day. How do we do this while giving CG her space, privacy, etc. Is this even feasible? My mom’s funds are dwindling after paying for FT caregiving for the past 3 years, with the family covering evening, overnight and Sundays. We’re running out of options other than NH placement.
Getting her into a facility while she still has some awareness and ability to adjust is better than not.
Consider your options carefully.
Just saying, not to contradict you at all, horrified at the lack of care in care facilities in 2023.
I do recommend, before any move in occurs that you have a care contract in place that addresses everything she is to do, what her pay and hours are etc, including what happens when your mom dies or is required to go into a facility. This will now be her residence and it should be clear that ends when mom dies/moves into a facility and she has 30 days to move out.
Good luck with this working out well.
Be very specific about what time off means. Is a day off a full 24 hours where the caregiver can leave the house and stay out?
Do the "evenings" also include overnights? Or will the caregiver be expected to get up if your mother needs something?
What happens if your mother has to be placed or passes away? How long will the caregiver be allowed to remain in the house after?
If your mother is hospitalized or has to go into temporary rehab care, what will the caregiver's pay look like?
I think your best bet here would be to hire two caregivers who will split the week. This way all the time is covered, your mom's house is no one's primary residence, and the time off is half the week. It won't cost any more and the family would not have to do as much care.
In all truth, entering while Mom still has funds will get her a better placement if you are careful to choose a facility that will allow client to go on Medicaid when needed (rare in ALF setting).
As to whether this is "even feasible", I doubt it. It will be very costly. If the children are spending their own funds on this care they are emptying the coffers meant to support them in their own aging.
As to the question of how you set expectations for a "move in" caregiver. Wow! Is this person moving into the home itself and will live there? That can be VERY problematic as you will know if you spend any time here. You are making that residence her home, and if things don't work you have a tenant who may or may not pay for her room.
Your expectations should be in the form of a contract drawn by/with an attorney so that legal stipulations of expectations, payment (including board WHILE EMPLOYED as caregiver only) is clearly spelled out. This could all become a minor disaster if it doesn't work and it is important you get it clearly written out in black and white and done as legally as possible.
I would never do this.
I then followed up with a lawyer who said the problem will arise when mom has to apply for Medicaid. At that point it will look like I, as her POA, took out thousands of dollars for myself in cash withdrawals (no paper trail).
It looks like mom gifted me all this money and I will either have to pay it back, or pay for mom’s care when her money runs out until it equals the amount of cash that was withdrawn.
While we are taking steps to remedy this situation, and we have a caregiver who mom signed a legal agreement with, it still haunts me. It’s bad enough not knowing how long mom will be on hospice, and dealing with the day to day trials. But now I have this financial peril hanging over my head.
You said mom’s funds are dwindling. I would get a lawyer and proceed with extreme caution.
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