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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My 97-year old mother has dementia and is bedridden. More frequently she becomes combative when I attempt to change her diaper, refusing to move her hands. Has anyone else had this experience and how did you handle it?
This is a main reason why a family caregiver might throw in the towel and place mom in a long-term care facility. They can provide a three-person assist, and mom would not be able to prevent them from caring for her. Another option is meds to calm her. You should discuss this with mom’s doctor.
You are experiencing yet another example of why “we love her and will care for her until the end” isn’t enough. I am so sorry.
I forgot which member said this, but the quote was “I am not above a little threat” such as pointing out that if mom won’t allow her diaper to be changed, her next step is the dreaded nursing home. It’s true, after all. If there’s one thing they want, it’s nit going to the home.
Being 97 yo and with dementia could make her hospice eligible, which would automatically provide morphine, Ativan and Haldol/seroquel as their comfort kit. The last two used to be called minor and major tranquilizers. They should calm her down enough to change her diaper. It could also make her more stuporous, but then again, she will be kept clean.
Not sure a threat would work with someone with Dementia. I may say "Mom if you don't allow me to change you, someone else will be doing it." With Dementia its hard to know what they will and will not understand.
You do it anyway. Yes, I have had this experience with my Post-stroke husband for the last 10 years. He finds the whole experience upsetting. He gets impatient, and thinks he is "helping" by putting his hands in the way, slapping down while I try to fasten the diaper, like he thinks he is helping to close it. When I turn him on his side to clean him, remove the soiled diaper, or to place the new one underneath, he very quickly rolls back onto his back, so I've learned to move quickly. I have at times leaned my whole body into him to hold him on his side while wiping a poopy mess. He uses all his strength to push back against me. It's very frustrating!
I try and use a soothing voice, asking for his cooperation, and giving instruction every step of the way, letting him know what I'm doing. I ask him to keep his hands out of it, I will handle it. I show him my gloved hand, "See? I have gloves on. You don't have gloves. Just let me handle it." He says, "hurry up!" And I assure him I will hurry but I need his cooperation. He yells and screams for help through the whole process, like he's being tortured. I guess I've just gotten used to this. I assure him, "I'm almost done." Then when we are done, I help him get comfortable in the bed, and give him a protein drink which he likes, and he snatches out of my hand.
This is ideally handled by 2 or more people, helping to hold the patient in place, but that, too can be scary for an already frightened elder, having strangers hold her down, which might cause her to fight even more.
You just learn to work with the person and their fears and anticipate their behaviors. It might take a little more time to get your task accomplished. You can also try offering a reward for her cooperation. Or a reward just for getting through the task. You probably can't reason with her, and she may not understand that she is impeding you, you just have to remain calm and continue with her in the way.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You are experiencing yet another example of why “we love her and will care for her until the end” isn’t enough. I am so sorry.
Being 97 yo and with dementia could make her hospice eligible, which would automatically provide morphine, Ativan and Haldol/seroquel as their comfort kit. The last two used to be called minor and major tranquilizers. They should calm her down enough to change her diaper. It could also make her more stuporous, but then again, she will be kept clean.
Yes, I have had this experience with my Post-stroke husband for the last 10 years. He finds the whole experience upsetting. He gets impatient, and thinks he is "helping" by putting his hands in the way, slapping down while I try to fasten the diaper, like he thinks he is helping to close it.
When I turn him on his side to clean him, remove the soiled diaper, or to place the new one underneath, he very quickly rolls back onto his back, so I've learned to move quickly. I have at times leaned my whole body into him to hold him on his side while wiping a poopy mess. He uses all his strength to push back against me. It's very frustrating!
I try and use a soothing voice, asking for his cooperation, and giving instruction every step of the way, letting him know what I'm doing.
I ask him to keep his hands out of it, I will handle it. I show him my gloved hand, "See? I have gloves on. You don't have gloves. Just let me handle it."
He says, "hurry up!" And I assure him I will hurry but I need his cooperation.
He yells and screams for help through the whole process, like he's being tortured. I guess I've just gotten used to this. I assure him, "I'm almost done." Then when we are done, I help him get comfortable in the bed, and give him a protein drink which he likes, and he snatches out of my hand.
This is ideally handled by 2 or more people, helping to hold the patient in place, but that, too can be scary for an already frightened elder, having strangers hold her down, which might cause her to fight even more.
You just learn to work with the person and their fears and anticipate their behaviors. It might take a little more time to get your task accomplished.
You can also try offering a reward for her cooperation. Or a reward just for getting through the task. You probably can't reason with her, and she may not understand that she is impeding you, you just have to remain calm and continue with her in the way.