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My 97-year old mother has dementia and is bedridden. More frequently she becomes combative when I attempt to change her diaper, refusing to move her hands. Has anyone else had this experience and how did you handle it?

This is a main reason why a family caregiver might throw in the towel and place mom in a long-term care facility. They can provide a three-person assist, and mom would not be able to prevent them from caring for her. Another option is meds to calm her. You should discuss this with mom’s doctor.

You are experiencing yet another example of why “we love her and will care for her until the end” isn’t enough. I am so sorry.
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Reply to Fawnby
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I forgot which member said this, but the quote was “I am not above a little threat” such as pointing out that if mom won’t allow her diaper to be changed, her next step is the dreaded nursing home. It’s true, after all. If there’s one thing they want, it’s nit going to the home.

Being 97 yo and with dementia could make her hospice eligible, which would automatically provide morphine, Ativan and Haldol/seroquel as their comfort kit. The last two used to be called minor and major tranquilizers. They should calm her down enough to change her diaper. It could also make her more stuporous, but then again, she will be kept clean.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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If meds won't work it may be time for placement in a facility.
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Reply to JustAnon
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